Careers For Young Men

Helpful Hints Which may Assist the Young College Graduate in his Choice of a Life Work

By VANITY FAIR'S SUCCESS EDITOR

Bootlegging

ANY young man with a college education who has ambition, ideals and stick-toit-iveness, can undoubtedly succeed in Bootlegging.

This is a career which has developed tremendously in the last three years, and the opportunities for the bright, ambitious young man are many and varied. The bootlegging industry has an increasing need of men with brains and a college education, and I cannot too strongly urge all to consider carefully before choosing some other life work.

If any young man is desirous of serving humanity—of devoting his life to the help of his fellow creatures—there is no profession, except possibly teaching or the ministry, which offers a better opportunity than bootlegging. And while, in connection with careers of public service, it is customary to disregard the monetary reward and consider the joy of service as the true payment, yet many young men are kept from devoting their lives to unselfish service by the fact that they cannot afford to be ministers or professors. Fortunately, these young men can now enter bootlegging with the assurance that while they are serving humanity, humanity is willing to pay them well for their unselfish devotion.

An interesting and perhaps prophetic parallel can be drawn between the two careers of banking and bootlegging. Banking to-day is a tremendously well organized business, and the young man desirous of succeeding as a banker must go through a long training at a low salary before he reaches the top. Banking to-day is, furthermore, one of the bulwarks of civilization—the banker is the most respected, most reverenced member of the business world. His word is law. The children which he acknowledges as his own become the future United States Senators, heads of corporations, trustees of universities.

But in former times and in other countries, banking was a somewhat questionable pursuit, and indeed in a certain period of history the custom of demanding interest on a loan, or "usury" as they called it, was held to be a distinctly un-Christian act. It was once considered a disgrace for a young man to think of becoming a banker—a disgrace for which his whole family suffered. "Yes, she's a nice girl, but you know they say her father was once a banker", was once enough to disqualify matrimonially any young lady. And to-day, out of a total of 148,693 bankers' daughters, 148,691 or 99.9603 per cent are married.

Thus, in consideration of the contrast between the unpromising beginnings of the banking business and its present majestic state, I cannot help feeling that the same changes will one day be effected in, bootlegging.

The young man with ideals who goes in for bootlegging now, will quite probably one day be one of the country's most honoured, most respected, citizens. His renown, reaching from coast to coast, will cause all things from talcum powder to babies to be named after him. But aside from all that, he will have the feeling of having lived unselfishly in the effort to make the world a better place, a happier place, for his fellow human beings. And, after all, what greater reward can one ask?

Business

ANY young man with a college education who has ambition, ideals and stick-toit-iveness, can undoubtedly succeed in Business.

Although there may possibly be other considerations in rare instances, the only real necessity for business success is a complete and careful reading of Dr. Eliot's Five Foot Shelf of Books. During my lifetime, I have made a close and accurate study of business failures, and I can say without doubt that, in each and every case, the direct cause of the failure was the fact that the man had not read Webster's Duchess of Malfi.

It almost seems as if ex-President Eliot had selected these books for the purpose of aiding ambitious young Americans to become successful in business. His original purpose may have been to share the joys of moral culture With those who had not been blessed with the advantagesof a Harvard education, but he has builded better than he knew. Not only is the reader of his Five Foot Shelf purified and morally instructed, but he is also given a tremendous advantage over his business rivals.

Not five years'ago, I happened to become acquainted with a young man who had been out of college and in the business world about two years. He was a handsome lad, a strapping six-footer, bright and energetic, who had stood high in classroom and had captained the nine at college. But upon my inquiring as to his business success, he astonished me by saying that he was disgusted and about to quit. Further questioning disclosed the fact that he was working for the Perkins Products Co., a large corporation owned by a close friend of mine. The young man's discouragement seemed due to the slow rate at which he was advancing. "Have you ever read the Harvard Classics?" I asked. When he replied in the negative, I strongly urged him to do so, and he promised me that he would. Next year I met him again, and with him there was a most attractive young lady. "Well, my young friend," I said, "you look indeed happy, and in quite different spirits from the occasion when last we met. Did I not tell you that Dr. Eliot's Five Foot Shelf would bring you success?" "Indeed, sir," replied he, "I cannot thank you enough for your advice. I have read all the Harvard Classics and I am now earning five thousand dollars a year. And allow me to make you acquainted with my wife— she is the daughter of your old friend, Ezra Perkins, the president of the company for which I have been working." "Indeed, I felicitate you both," I replied, and went on my way rejoicing. Thanks to the Harvard Classics, that young man is to-day vice-president of the Perkins Products Company, at a salary of fifteen thousand dollars a year. I could name many other examples of similar success, and I sincerely hope that the young college man who aspires to leadership in the great world of modern business will heed my words of advice as to the value of Dr. Eliot's P'ive Foot Shelf.

Literature

ANY young man with a college education who has ambition, ideals and stick-toit-iveness can undoubtedly succeed in Literature.

The literary aspirant should, first of all, read a number of contemporary American magazines in order to get,an idea as to the type of story which publishers select. Do not, I beg of you, as a result of this research enter the coal business or agriculture before you have given literature a further trial.

Having selected a certain type of story, the next step consists in getting a plot; it will be found, on thorough investigation, that many American plots have -something to do with Love.

Now, obviously, in order to write about Love, one must accumulate experience in the subject. In America these experiments are generally conducted with a member of the opposite sex. Of the two classes of Love— Sacred and Profane—the latter is perhaps the more interesting and instructive, but certain difficulties in connection with writing short stories about one's discoveries make it advisable for the ambitious young author to confine at least his early literary experiments entirely to the Sacred or—as it is often called in fiction—Real Love.

Having selected a suitable object for one's experiments in Real Love, the next step is to procure a note book, a sharp pencil and a Stutz roadster. It will be found that with these the long autumn evenings will pass pleasantly enough and, if the girl has had the educational advantages of one of the more fashionable finishing schools, it should not be long before much delightful informal love may be enjoyed. It should be always kept in mind, however, that this is not Real Love, and one should not allow the true object of one's researches to be neglected. After a few weeks of this pleasantry, Real Love will probably begin to make its appearance in one's companion, the time necessary for its development depending generally upon the number of years since the girl made her debut. For example, in the case of one who has been out four years, with three younger sisters coming onj Real Love should make its appearance about the fifth or sixth week.

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When the young author has observed Real Love awakening in the subject of his experiments, and has carefully noted the various reactions, he should then sail alone for Tahiti, or grow a heavy beard, in order that he may be unmolested while he writes his story. Women are strange creatures, and it is often difficult to explain even the simplest things to them.

When the story is finished it should be sent to a magazine. It will be promptly returned. It should then be sent to another magazine which will also return it. After the fourteenth refusal, the young author should write several more stories about love, all of which will, of course, be returned. These should not, however, be destroyed, for later on, when the young, author has made a name for himself, it will be found that he can sell each one of these old stories for a large price. Do not, above all things, be discouraged, for success in literature, as in other occupations, is often merely a matter of perseverance and cultivating the right people.

Besides creative work, such as the short story or the novel, many young authors have tried their hand at humorous or critical writing. The former is somewhat more difficult at first, as it is often necessary that one's articles contain real humour; after a reputation as a humourist has been gained, however, this difficulty disappears. The writing of criticism—literary, dramatic, etc.— requires, in the beginning, a certain amount of cerebration, but here, too, after one's reputation is established, the task is considerably lightened.

Usher

ANY young man with a college education who has ambition, ideals and stick-to-it-iveness, can undoubtedly succeed as an Usher.

More and more are people coming to realize that weddings can be thoroughly successful only if well-trained professional ushers are engaged. The ridiculous custom of letting the groom pick his friends as ushers is rapidly becoming obsolete, and I look forward to the day when young men will be required to take strict examinations before they can serve as licensed ushers.

In order to obtain this license, a severe preliminary training course should be necessary. The first three months of this would, of course, be devoted to intensive day and night drinking. If, at the end of this period, the young aspirant is unable to consume liquor steadily for ninety-six hours, he should be sent down to the class B drinkers, fitted into a cutaway, and prepared for the bond business, for he will never be a completely successful Usher.

The final test is known as the wedding reception. In this test each candidate must talk for half an hour to the bride's mother, half an hour to the bride's father, and three-quarters of an hour to the bride's aunt.

All who can be revived after these tests should be graduated as First Class Ushers and receive the insignia of their trade—a decoration consisting of six key rings, eight gold pencils, and ten pairs of cuff links.