Sagittarius

VANITIES

Centaur forward

IF you could adapt to the life-style of Santa Claus or Indiana Jones, then you might consider a relationship with a Sagittarius. Warning: You must be able to do it in the car, because they're bom and they die on the run. You must also be content to do it on the phone, because Sagittarians definitely don't want you around all the time.

You have to be modem enough to invite his or her ex over for dinner, because they like caprice in their relationships. In fact they're frequently attracted to bigamists and the kind of people who run off with the next-door neighbor. They seem to go for Geminis, so if you stay as ruthless as Army Lieutenant William Calley and as vulnerable as Marilyn Monroe and read a little de Sade on the side, you should get along very well. They're not necessarily drawn to schizoid behavior, but you won't have any trouble getting their attention if you act like Sybil, that woman with sixteen selves.

To make it with Sagittarius you have to be able to take the curves on two wheels and keep from screaming when they baldly deny the awful truth. You have to have a healthy disrespect for just about everything. You must not freak out if the one you love bends the law beyond the breaking point. (Sagittarians love to rip off the phone company.) They'll preach to you when you're naughty, but then they'll turn around and buy you a sports car.

In short, if you are flexible enough to live like an aborigine while still managing to do your nails, jump on the Sagittarian horse. Oh, and above all you must be willing to postpone all decisions. Forever.

Current trends: It's been a Tom and Jerry cartoon for Sagittarians lately, where the mouse, scrambling to get away,

doesn't realize the cat has it firmly by the tail. Never before have Sagittarians been so itchy to be free, or so trapped by their sexual goblins and their attraction to danger. As a result, they have developed the unique capacity to obsess secretly even while touring the chateau country.

Although the day of reckoning is at hand, Jupiter enters Pisces early in 1986 for the whole year, and that means escape, so plan to spend the summer near the water or on the sauce. In April you will have to integrate your fantasy of going down the Nile on a barge with the pressing need to grow up.

Confidential to Steven Spielberg: There's a shadow on the golden boy right now, and it comes from Saturn's rings. Or maybe it's just the curse of success.

With Saturn entering your sign and Neptune having just left it, I see a wrinkle forming on your laughing brow. Thank heaven. You're probably already sensing a certain lack of depth in your work. Let's face it, we all love your movies, but we've just about reached the bottom of the popcorn box. Maybe you're worried that getting serious could be deadly. Well, you don't have much choice. I once met an eighty-yearold Boy Scout, and he was not cute.

Scar your heroes, for God's sake. Give them a morality crisis to teethe on. Let them make huge mistakes the way General Custer—another great Sagittarian—did.

There are definitely doubt and darkness up ahead. And if your motto has always been "Whistle a happy tune," Steve, you should remember how to whistle. You just put your lips together and blow.

Michael Lutin