Astrology

Like a Virgo

hy do Virgos, who are so saintly and self-disciplined, always get hysterical in the name of love? It probably all goes back to junior high school, when many of them had to start wearing glasses and being smart instead of sexy. Terrified that in any real romantic setting they'd be as preposterous as Lily Tomlin was in that movie where she had to make love to John Travolta, they got into the habit of burning incense and lighting candles to somebody who didn't even know they existed. And to this day they can't believe that any dynamite man or woman could possibly find them attractive. Tiy this: the next time you see a Virgo sitting quietly in a garden reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull, just blow a suggestive kiss and watch him or her disintegrate.

Current trends: You've had more than the usual stress and anxiety this year. That is life's little way of telling you not to make the mistake of thinking you're a Leo and enjoying yourself too much. Buying sprees won't fill up a hole that's fundamentally emotional, so resist overcommitting yourself in expectation of the check that's in the mail. Be sexually honest and you'll get the backing you need. Good-looking distractions will be filling your cup with wine, and you

could easily spend Saturday night doing something besides practicing the violin or changing the Kitty Litter. But get to bed at a decent hour.

Hot flash for Sagittarius: Hey, what happened to the nice guy you used to be? All of a sudden you're an exploding cigar in the face of authority. Go ahead and make your breakthroughs. Forget about being sane.

CONFIDENTIAL TO WERNER ERHARD: Your idea for est was a terrific combination of Eastern mysticism, fortune-cookie wisdom, and a sales pitch for vacuum cleaners. So why do you make outsiders suspicious? Maybe it's your unnerving combination of Virgo, Pisces, Sagittarius, and Gemini. Your horoscope reads like a TV commercial for Mr. Clean that shows a shiny waxed floor which in reality nobody has ever walked on. This is a tough moment for you; Saturn and Uranus are transiting your western horizon, and you're not really in control. Life is suddenly a roller-coaster ride, and you just have to scream like hell and hold on for dear life. You also have to stay committed to a complicated person who's near to you, and you simply can't do that at a Club Med or in a singles bar.

Michael Lutin