Planetarium

AQUARIUS

January 20—February 18

When you write your autobiography, you will probably title the chapter on the period just ahead "When Rats Leave Ships." You must be very nervous now, and that's perfectly understandable. The conjunction of Neptune and Uranus that has been approaching your 12th house since 1988 is finally culminating, and it will last through most of 1993. You probably feel as if you are buried up to your neck in sand, and the tide is coming in, and suddenly everyone around you has decided to leave the beach. Fear not. This is the universe's cute little way of forcing you to have faith.

PISCES

February 19—March 20

If anyone were to tell you that your life is not your own right now, you'd probably just yawn and mutter, "So what else is new?" You think you've seen it all, heard it all, and, heaven knows, done it all. But surprise! Over the next year and a half, the current Uranus-Neptune conjunction may sweep a few people out of your life forever, but it will also definitely carry you further along on your Great Mission. Who knows? Because of you the Israelis may invite the Arabs for Passover. As usual, everybody in your vicinity will be benefiting from your efforts. But, as you yourself so often say, "So what else is new?"

ARIES

March 21—April 19

Your rise in the months ahead could be more meteoric than Diana Ross's was after she dumped the Supremes. On the other hand, the Uranus-Neptune conjunction could get you tossed out of your office on your butt with barely enough time to get the kids' pictures off the desk. There's no way to tell with these two planets. The effects are really not sudden, and they hardly come as a surprise. In fact, this overthrow is desperately needed. For the last few years you've tried your hardest to be normal and respectable, and these efforts have been admirable. A laugh riot, in your case, but still admirable.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

You're usually a fairly righteous person. Sure, you've snitched your share of jelly beans at the candy store, but your thinking up to now has certainly been along orthodox lines. Some might call your opinions positively Vaticanistic. Over the next eighteen months, though, your philosophy of life will explode in all sorts of new directions. Maybe aliens have implanted a device in your nose which allows you to think more openly. Once, you would have scoffed at such an idea, but you'll find yourself changing so much that you will probably sneak over to the mirror to take a look at that nose.

GEMINI

May 21—June 21

Keep on mud-wrestling with financing and refinancing, if you must. Go on worrying about exactly how that ax will fall and when. But the big news is the Uranus-Neptune conjunction in your 8th house, and for you that means exploring your sexuality. Dyed-in-the-wool gays and lesbians will have a few heretical hetero thoughts, and confirmed straights may find themselves browsing through target-audience magazines they shouldn't be looking at. In your efforts to push beyond the limits of your usual sexual behavior, remember that this is the nineties, not the seventies.

CANCER

June 22-July 22

Within a year, you've been hit by two eclipses—one last July, one this January—and that means that you will have to find a sane balance between losing yourself totally in somebody else and becoming so narcissistic you bore everyone to death with your same old story. You can always go on looking people straight in the eye and preaching independence and freedom, then skulk back alone to your little lair to suck your thumb. Or you can put all your eggs in a nice basket with no bottom and go for a mad, mad relationship, even wackier than the one Mrs. Muir had with the Ghost.

LEO

July 23—August 22

Until the fall of 1993, the Uranus-Neptune conjunction should certainly put your focus on health and work. Your body is doing wild and woolly things now. You can feel sure that you're healthy, and the next minute the doctor will scare you with some weird medical term. Or you can feel vague and queer, and 806 tests will show absolutely nothing. At work you think you have the job thing knocked. Then whammo! You're collecting unemployment and working on a new resume. The minute it's done, you're offered a job that will pay health insurance. All that back and forth could cause mild nausea—that and pregnancy.

VIRGO

August 23—September 22

The Uranus-Neptune conjunction in your 5th house signifies a moment when children must take leave of their parents—always a source of intestinal agitation for Virgos. It could also inspire you to create ingenious devices, have fascinating relationships with Capricorns, and become involved with the theater of the absurd, which, in the case of a Virgo, is even more absurd. Stepping out of your usual role, you're no longer the left-brain geek, passing the time of day doing square roots just for the heck of it. Now the other hemisphere of your brain is kicking in, and you could even end up acting like an Italian.

LIBRA

September 23—October 23

When you were a kid, one of your pet peeves had to have been a parent you were supposed to support, cheer up, and make nice-nice with. Many Libras try to escape by leaping into marriage, where more often than not they only repeat the same process. Don't let this happen to you! The Uranus-Neptune conjunction in your 4th house is your chance to smash those icons and abandon all those fears of abandonment. Remember, you have a self, whether your parents or boss or guardians think so or not. The time has come when you can no longer go on making nice-nice during the day and growling in your sleep.

SCORPIO

October 24—November 21

From now until about September 1993, the Uranus-Neptune conjunction will demand responses from you in the following areas. (1) Siblings: Expand your vision to understand their behavior, unless, of course, you are an only child. (2) Eyesight: See an optometrist. (3) Communication: Your normally crisp style will be subject to blurring, so don't expect everyone to receive your wishes instantly and telepathically. (4) Transportation: Since you'll be buzzing around a lot, you'll probably want instant transplantation, but remember what happened to Jeff Goldblum in The Fly. Travel conventionally.

SAGITTARIUS

November 22—December 21

Here's your life for the next year and a half with a Uranus-Neptune conjunction in your 2nd house: There's a bank error in your favor, and you collect $500. The next day you lose your shirt in the stock market. But then you win the lottery, only to learn they're paying in Confederate money. Suddenly the judge decides you have been wronged, and the insurance company coughs up five mil. You put the money in a suitcase, and on your way to the airport (you're retiring to Tahiti on a windy day) the thing snaps open and the dough flies out. But then a millionaire comes along and saves you. Get the picture?

CAPRICORN

December 22—January 19

The Wicked Witch of the West—who was a Capricorn, by the way— went around scaring people with orange smoke and flaming brooms. But she was probably just doing to everybody else what her mother had done to her. Once she was doused with a little cold water, all her wickedness vanished. The Uranus-Neptune conjunction of 1992-93 will have the same effect on you; it should blow away all your anger, wash away your fear, and end the family curse forever. All you have to do is let your tight-assed self be dissolved. And the best part is that no one will punish you for it. Take a few courses in social work.

Michael Lutin