East of Eden

A Vanities Baedeker to Valley Chic

Once Los Angeles's famously hideous stepchild— a smog-choked, mountain-entombed desert gridiron dotted with car washes and Kmarts; a kind of Long Island, rancho-style—the San Fernando Valley is coming out of its awkward stage. Among its alluring attributes: endless blocks of low-slung dream housing flanked by acres of sprinkler-abetted lawns, new legions of modish stores and restaurants (many of them familiar clones of West L.A. establishments), proximity to the studios—Warner Bros., Universal, Walt Disney, and NBC are all nearby— and a comfy distance from the riotstricken boulevards, gang wars, and charred foothills of Lotusland proper. Even 818, the scarlet area code, has begun to lose the grim connotations it had at the time of Moon Zappa's heroic Valley consciousness-raising efforts in the early 1980s. Valleyites are now willing to stay East of Eden, while, in the past, many of them spent their days dreaming of ways to move west. Here's a guide to Valley Chic. . .

STATS

Coordinates: 118 degrees west longitude, 34 degrees north latitude.

Climatic conditions: Semi-arid, Mediterranean climate. High temperatures, 105 to 108 degrees; lows in the upper 20s.

VALLEY DICTIONARY

Over the hill adv.: the part of L.A. south of the Santa Monica Mountains (which form the San Fernando Valley's southern boundary), i.e., the rest of Los Angeles; e.g., I've got to schlepp over the hill and be in Beverly Hills by three.

Ventura Boulevard n.: the Valley's main commercial street; 16.5 miles long, running from Woodland Hills to Universal City; depending on the stretch, it's "the Rodeo Drive of the Valley,'' "the Melrose of the Valley," or "the La Brea Avenue of the Valley."

Gelson's n.: redefines the supermarket; fastidious gourmet food emporium where the apples, oranges, and nonfat-yogurt containers are never out of place; major source of arugula for Valley residents.

THE NEIGHBORHOODS

Encino, the Beverly Hills of the Valley. Pasadena, the Brentwood of the Valley. Hidden Hills, the Bel-Air of the Valley. Studio City, the Hollywood of the Valley. Calabasas, the Malibu of the Valley.

WESTSIDE CLONES

The maturation of the Valley—and the fearful reluctance of Valleyites to risk carjacking in West L.A. —has drawn some venerable Westside establishments to set up Valley outposts. Among those that have opened Valley clones: Patina (Pinot Bistro), the Bistro Gardens, La Scala Presto, Cha Cha Cha, Toscana, the Columbia Bar & Grill, the Daily Grill, Versailles, and Insomnia Cafe.

THE VALLEY VS. THE WESTSIDE

There are now so many stylish Valley institutions restaurants, and stores that the glittering Valley can head-to-head with the glamorous Westside:

Universal CityWalk Third Street Promenade The Huntington Library The J. Paul Getty Museum Old Pasadena Westwood Village The Jackson-family mansion The Spelling mansion Sushi Nozawa Katsu Stanley's Hugo's DuPar's (Studio City) Ben Franks The Baked Potato The Mint The Palomino Club Jack's Sugar Shack Casa Vega El Coyote Cafe Art's Deli Nate 'n A1 Sportsman's Lodge Bar Dresden Restaurant Jona Maxfield Ron Ross Fred Segal Mel Fox Carroll & Co. Hubba Hubba! American Rag Cie.

THE CELEBRITIES

Sandra Bernhard is the celebrity queen of the Valley. Since she moved to North Hollywood in 1984, she has been a leader in the Valley pride movement, talking it up on TV and in her routines, and writing about it in her books.

The Zappas are the First Celebrity Family of the Valley, as opposed to the Sheens of Malibu, who are the First Celebrity Family of L.A. 's Westside.

OTHER VALLEY CELEBRITIES

Kim Basinger Lesley Ann Warren Tony Danza The Jackson family Tiffani-Amber Thiessen Richard Grieco Morgan Fairchild Catherine Bach Erik Estrada Jennie Garth Brian Austin Green Heather Locklear Shaun Cassidy Natalie Cole Ed Asner Melissa Gilbert Markie Post Valerie Bertinelli Eddie Van Halen Doug Llewelyn Debby Boone Garry Marshall Ed Begley Jr. Swoosie Kurtz Tom Selleck