Her Majesty's Not-So-Secret Service

Ingrid Seward is England's Queen Mother of royal-watching

While the Fleet Street reporters have chased one scandal after another, Ingrid Seward, editor of Majesty magazine, has covered the dignified pomp and circumstance of the House of Windsor since 1983. This month, GEORGE WAYNE chats with Seward to see if she won't shed just a bit of light on royal skeletons in the palace closet.

George Wayne:Miss Seward, where were you when you heard that Princess Diana was dead?

Ingrid Seward: I was in bed at our house in East Sussex. The phone rang and it was Sky News. They said to me, "Dodi has died in a car accident, but Diana's walked away." I thought, Crikey! I just couldn't believe it. My First thought was; This poor girl had just found someone she loved, and it was taken away from her. Then, at six A.M., I woke up again and heard that she was dead. And the rest is history, isn't it?

G.W.G. W. is sure that Charles and Camilla must be having sex again, so why don't they just move in together?

I.S.Because Camilla has a really amazing, beautiful country mansion which is quite near Highgrove. And she has her London clothes hanging in his closet.

G.W.And who is Prince Andrew bonking these days?

I.S. [Catches her breath.] Oh, dear. . . . Recently he was seeing a P.R. lady. Very pretty. She handles the Armani account.

G.W.And who does poofy Edward think he's kidding?

I.S.[Gasps.] Oh, gosh.

G.W.C'mon, Madame. Seward. Prince Edward won't be getting married anytime soon. Will he?

I.S.I don't really care if he's gay or not. I think the gay community would love the idea of having a gay royal. When you meet him, he's not a bit gay. He just likes hanging out with theatrical people.

G.W.Well, simply put, the "gaydar" goes through the roof whenever Edward makes an appearance.

I.S.Edward could never come out of the closet. And I don't think he's gay. But maybe it would be better for him if he were. I think his girlfriend, Sophie. . . . Well, she is very gutsy, a positive girl.

G.W.Margaret is my favorite royal. She is such a diva. And she's sort of eccentric.

I.S.Life is not brilliant for her at the moment. She's at home, but since the stroke I don't think she's in brilliant shape.

G.W.And how does it feel being called a royal sycophant?

I.S.No one has ever called me that. G.W.Never? What about that time on Larry King Live when you were thoroughly rattled by our Christopher Hitchens?

I.S.Oh, you saw that, did you? Well, I just thought he was gratuitously nasty.

G.W.You called him "appalling"! And said he was one of the rudest men you'd ever heard.

I.S.Something like that. I just don't think there is any point in getting gratuitously nasty. It never gets you anywhere. G.W.He proceeded to say, "You've been around, " imply-

ing that you were some common—

I.S.That doesn't bother me at all. I just get the feeling he is one of those men who don't like women.

G.W.So you think he's a misogynist?

I.S.Yes. I just thought I'm not going to be spoken to like that by some git.

G.W.What's a git?

I.S.It's an English expression for idiot. You can certainly print that.

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