August

FANFAIR

MADONNA IN THE MOTOR CITY, BENTLEYS IN PEBBLE BEACH, AND A FOOD FIGHT IN SPAIN

SUNDAY

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

1 The Universal Ballet of Korea performs at New York City's Lincoln Center. The company has 120 members— imagine the possibilities for tutu-based mishap.

2 The Emerson String Quartet performs, also at Lincoln Center. 8:47 A.M.: guard discovers leftover Ballet of Korea audience member in seat, tutu'd to standstill.

3 Tomorrow the San Francisco Museum of Modem Art commemorates Ansel Adams's centenary—or, as we like to say, C(A.A.)@SFMoMA!

4 Day No. 4 of Comden and Green and Styne's satirical musical re the jukebox industry, Do Re Mi, in San Francisco. Jukeboxes: very ripe for satire; someone oughta take them down a

5 Today's shopping list: white T-shirt, ciggies, hair goo. Tonight's activity: watch TNT's biopic on James Dean. Tomorrow's bearing: intense, unshaven.

6 Work by Consuelo Castaneda and Adler Guerrier shown at the Miami Art A Museum. 9:17 P.M.: seven-millionth person asks Consuelo if she's related to Carlos.

7 Indianapalis gives way to the Jackson family's own kitten with a Janet.

8 Rhode Island International Film Festival starts. 8:17 P.M.: local director unveils documentary debut, Seagull Poop: The Silent Killer.

10 The "Debussy and His World" concert at Bard College in Annandale-onHudson. Wouldn't Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun actually be Morning of a Faun? Or Faun, Noonish?

11 Jared Harris plays Hamlet at the New Jersey Shakespeare Festival; Harris's father, the great Sir Richard, will play Hamlet's dad via digital-video installation. (Let's hope Jared's mother isn't remarried and living in Trenton.)

14 American ads from the 60s and 70s at the Eisner Museum of Advertising and Design. Show is called "You've Come a Long Way, Baby": the museum is located in Milwaukee.

15 "A Studio of Her Own: Women Artists in Boston 1870-1940" at Boston's Museum of Fine Arts. Bluestockings, Brahmins, Back Bay folk convene.

16 Hong Kongers prepare for the Hong Kong Ballet's Mulan. Backstage, 7:23 P.M.: Prima ballerina makes veiled reference to "that two-dimensional Disney bitch."

17 The Chicago Underground Film Festival continues. Our expectations: drag queens, body odor, piercings, latter.

18 Hilarious stud monkey John Leguizamo stands up at N.Y.C.'s Beacon Theatre. 9:38 P.M.: stoned attendee tells friend that "Leguizamo" is Spanish for "exciting legume."

19 Fifty-first annual Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance features classic Mercedeses and Bentleys: not a place to wear your T-shirt bearing comic depiction of formalwear.

21 The History Channel's four-parter on gold, called, curiously, Gold!, begins tonight. Expect heavy Pizarro and Cortes besmirchment.

22 Some 150,000 tomatoes are hurled during La Tomatina, the annual outdoor food fight in Bunol, Spain. Bugs descend.

25 Madonna plays her hometown, Auburn Hills, Michigan. Headline in local paper: PRODIGAL DAUGHTER RETURNS HOME BEARING MUCH TALENT, NO BRA.

26 "Defining Modern: European Design 18801930" at Houston's Museum of Fine Arts. Art Vienna Nouveau, Moderne, Art Deco: things you covet but cannot

27 Sophocles' Oedipus opens tomorrow at Washington, D.C.'s Shakespeare Theatre. Bring Mom, protective eyewear.

29 Houston Grand Opera's Little Women, on PBS: reclaiming the lilacscented innocence of Alcott's classic now that the film remake's Laurie (Christian Bale) went nutso in American Psycho.

30 Venice International Film Festival, Day No. 2. 2:30 P.M.: producer invites bombshell actress to quiet cafe for Cinzano, pouting.

31 The Telluride Film Festival, described as "the world's most intimate and special festival": it's as if you, Eric Stoltz, and 15 Miramax publicists were trapped in a Starbucks bathroom.

HENRY ALFORD