The Coaster Correspondence

More of the very expensive words of Edwin John Coaster, contributing editor

7/2002 BRAGMAN NYMAN CAFARELLI 22:17 FAX 2122864324 October 27, 2002 Dear Graydon: We have a crisis situation regarthng your planned cover story on my dient Cameron Dlaz. It's currently evening L.A. time, and no one's answering the phone in your office, which is why I'm sending this fax. Please call me in the am. at your earliest convenience. Basically, the problem Is the writer you assigned to interview Cameron, Edwin Coaster. As had been agreed upon, Cameron was te meet Mr. Coaster this afternoon at the coffee shop in the Beverly Hills Hotel, where he is slaying. Cameron showed up five minutes early, only to wait half an hour longer before inquinng at the front desk. The desk clerk informed Cameron that Coaster had said he wasn't feeling well, and wanted her to meet him at his bungalow. Now, any client of mine in Cameron's situation would have been totally within her rights to walk away right then and there. But Cameron has a big heart, and she felt bad for the guy. Well, not only was Coaster not sick, he was dwnk. and he greeted Cameron at the bungalow wearing only a loosely betted bathrobe. When they sat down on the oouch to begin the interview, the robe shifted, and Cameron saw something she dllcin't want to see, and she thinks Coaster wanted her to see what she saw. She fled at that point and called me, which brings us to where we are now. No, wait, I forgot to tell you that, as she was fleeing, Coaster shouted out, `What, can't we be trtends? Hey, next lime, bring that Chinese broad with you" Graydon, we value the Vanity Fair cover slot very much, but you must pull Coaster off this assignment and apologize to Cameron. Again, please cell me as soon as you can. Sincerely, i2~J

EDWIN COASTER 10/29/02 Dear Graydon well, I'm back in Maine again. Nice of you to oblige some publicist's Latwa against me without hearing my side. I wan wick, ii ou must know, and ordered some Blanton's from room service to clear up my sinuses and wash down the Percocets so I'd be tip-top for Miss Diag. Anywa,, I was surprised that she turned out to be such a prude. Shit, when I interviewed Gene Tierney at the Pierre in `61 for the Rerald Tribune, we were both wearing bathrobes, and Ida Lupino joined us for a steam and some ree~er. What the hell's wrong ith these convent girls today? Per your request, I've iorwarded all my Bias materials to my replacement, the delightful Mr. Bruce Randy, who will no doubt be the picture of decorum and rectitude in Miss Diaz's presence-just like Bock Rudson with Doris Day, ii you catch my drift. Though the issue will suffer without me, I wish you

BRUCE HANDY SENIOR ARTICLES EDITOR

GRAYDON- THANKS FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SALVAGE THE CAMERON DIAZ SITUATION. I WON'T LET YOU DOWN. I AM A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN, AND I PROMISE TO WEAR PANTS.

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