The Coaster Correspondence

More of the very expensive words of Edwin John Coaster, contributing editor

FAX 8f27f2003 VANITY FAIR 12:17 2122864324 P2 VANITY FAIR August 27, 2003 TO: Edwin John Coaster FROM: Kathryne Hall, photo-department coordinator Dear Mr. Coaster: Hi! Graydon has asked that we update your contributor's photo, since the one we have on file is from 1992. We understand that you're going to be in the city in two weeks for hip-replacement surgery, so we'd like to set something up with the photographer Gasper Tringale before you enter the hospital. Please tell us what day is best for you, and be sure to bring at least two outfits you'll look nice in, so that Gasper can try a few different setups. Looking forward to hearing from you!

EDWIN COASTER 8/29/03 Dear Graydonz So my old photo isn't good enough anymore? It doesn't represent what a iat old wrinkled tusk-hog I am no~.'? Is that why the photo girl Lazed me and said, in such veiled, polite tones, that you want to "update" my photo? I see it's not a problem for you to run a picture of ,our~e1i that dates from the Reagan administration, or to airbrush Sebastian Junger within an inch of hiB liie so that no one about the wig. And I see that while you get Annie or Seliger to take dour picture, I get Cohn Vichyssoise or whatever the hell his name i~. Listen, Irving Penn took that old photo of me. It ``as included in his career retrospective at the Art Institute of Chicago, and a signed print of it was sold to a Belgrade munitions baron ior six ligures. Yet you want to "update." Pine. I~1i take this one for the team, bro.-but on the condition that you get me a suite upgrade at the ospital for Special Surgery.

VANITY FAIR PUNCH HUTTON ASSOCIATE EDITOR September 5, 2003 Graydon: I hope you're having a wonderful time in Italy. Everything's nice and quiet here. Just two phone messages you should know about today Gasper Tringale called in a really agitated state. I took notes: Would it be too much for Giaydon to send a memo around to all VF contributors asking them to conduct themselves professionally at photo shoots'! I just had Ed Coaster in and, first of all, the guy is zonked on Percocets because he's got all this hip pain. He can't stand up straight, but he won't do a seated pose because that accentuates his gut. so I've got a moving, swaying target to deal with. Then I show him the Polaroids and he flips out and screams, `I don't look like that! I don't look like that! Your lights are making me look bald!' Yeah-my lights. This is on the heels of Sam Tanenhaus complaining that I `grew' his forehead and Ned Zeman sending me a nasty note saying his picture looked `like something you'd see in the newsletter of Temple Emanu-El in West Bloomfield. Michigan, with the words DENTIST SWS wwtt under it." I told Gasper I'd report all this to you. Speaking of dentists: Dr. Lituchy called. Your pennanent crown has come in. He says the temporary one should hold for now, but, no, don't eat the oriolans.