GEORGE WAYNE Q & A

Joe Scarborough, loud and proud

VANITIES

The television-talk-show landscape is a battleground, where crashing and burning is the rule, not the exception. The latest contender: telegenic former Florida Republican congressman Joe Scarborough (his G.O.P. colleagues called him "Squish," and he played in a band called Regular Joe), who is supposed to be MSNBC's answer to Bill O'Reilly. This month, our columnist asks the tough questions, and Scarborough speaks to his further political ambitions, the Bush dynasty, and collagen implants.

George Wayne: So, Joe Scarborough is supposed to be the new Bill O'Reilly?

Joe Scarborough: Oh, good Lord.

G.W.Is that the reason G. W. is supposed to be interested in Joe Scarborough? Is that the intrigue?

J.S. I hope not. In fact, I was just asking somebody why the hell Vanity Fair wants to talk to me. And especially to be interviewed by George Wayne. My wife said to me, "Do you think they want to make you look like a jackass?"

G.W.The whole notion of the shrill talking head on TV is so passe.

J.S. I agree that the shrillness of Bill O'Reilly wears thin.

G.W.But you are kind of shrill, too. And you never let your guests finish their statement or define their point of view.

J.S. I don't know if you've seen me lately.

G.W.Yes, I have, and you are very combative and shrill. And the shrill-TV-talking-head thing is so 90s and I'm sick of it.... You've got to redefine the genre.

J.S. That's what I'm gonna do, and I'm gonna do it by being myself.

G.W.Please, there is no need to be so loud, so shrill, and looking like a mutant Conan O'Brien!

J.S. They said to me, "You're doing well, your ratings are good, but we want more of you." And I said, "If you want more of me, get me out of this jacket and tie and acting like this talking head. We need me to evolve in a more relaxed setting." I'm just a regular Joe. That's what worked for me when I was in Congress, where everyone called me Congressman Joe.

G.W.I've heard that you're a nice guy, but I don't get that feeling when I watch you on television. To G.W. you are just a Bill O'Reilly knockoff.

J.S. Well, I've been doing this for a few months. It's hard to act shocked about everything, six segments a night, she days a week_The show is a work in progress.

G.W.All right. Let's do what you do best, which is "pulpicate" on the issues. Who do you think will be the Republican nominee for president in 2008, to face off against Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton?

J.S. I think it's gonna be Jeb Bush against Hillary Clinton.

G.W.You really think Jeb is going to run for president?

J.S. He denies it, but that's where the party is going. Jeb is an absolute policy wonk. He and Hillary at that time will be the two most talented people in their parties. That's going to be the showdown. It would be an incredible race.

G.W.Apart from the liberation of Iraq, what do you think will be the outstanding legacy of 43's first four years?

J.S. I think it's going to be the liberation of Iran. That's really where the excitement is. It will happen from within, because 70 percent of the Iranians are under 30. They are proWestern. They are seeing what's happening in Iraq and saying, "They liberated Iraq, they liberated Afghanistan, when are they gonna come take care of the mullahs here?" It's not going to look like American democracy, but there will be some democratic movement across the Middle East.

G.W.The knock against Joe Scarborough is that he never finishes anything he starts. He quit Congress before his term was up. He starts a newspaper in Florida, then bails out on that a few years later. Now he has a cable-TV show, but is it just a prop to heighten his profile as he prepares to run for senator in 2004 against Florida incumbent Bob Graham?

J.S. Absolutely not. It's great being out of politics. As far as the newspaper goes, I'm getting the paper back and starting it up again.

G.W.So you're out of politics for good—is that what you're telling me, Joe Scarborough?

J.S. No, but as I said when I left Congress, when my kids get out of high school, then I'll get back into it. And that's not gonna happen for five, six years.

G.W.Have you ever thought about collagen lip implants?

J.S. No. u think I need to?

G.W.If ever there was anyone who would be the perfect candidate for collagen lip implants, it is you.

J.S. I usually get knocked for my small eyes. Some guy sent me an E-mail the other day asking why my eyes always look like I've been stung by a bumblebee.

G.W.Think what it would do for your ratings to have some cosmetic surgery, Joe Scarborough!

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