Rock Journalist Hero

ALTERNATE-REALITY GIFT GUIDE

Presents...

THE VIDEO GAME for

Transmogrify inarticulate responses from lithe idiot savants into passably meaningful comments!

Compress your think piece into a 25-word capsule review for an ever shrinking print publication being strangled to death by the Internet!

Challenge yourself to write more than 70 by-the-numbers profiles and reviews, including:

The fatuous British band that thinks it's the new U2!

The iconoclastic indie rockers who sold out and signed to a major!

The umpteenth "Best Dylan album since Blood on the Tracks"!

The Miley Cyrus album your editor is forcing you to write about!

PRODUCT FEATURES

Playable in four modes: Gonzo Lester Bangs Rant; Greil Marcus Chin-Stroker; Cameron Crowe Valentine; and (NEW!) Pitchfork Media Scorched-Earth Condescension.

Two-player option offers vocab-escalation duel: parry "seminal" with "cosmic," trump "coruscating" with "plangent."

Stylized SYCOPHANCY/LECHERY toggle switch (shaped like nicotine-stained finger) lets you pester Jack White, grope Meg.

DAVE ITZKOFF