THAT WAS and THIS IS THEN and NOW

Dorothy Hamill's

MESMERIZING BOWL HAIRCUT

Javier Bardem's

The Patriot Act

( GRAVE THREAT TO CIVIL LIBERTIES

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Monica + cigar, the Starr report

OFFICIALLY COMMISSIONED PENETRATION SMUT

+ syringe, the Mitchell report

TIRESOME NETPOPULARIZED SLANG

^ Inveighing against "Zionist hoodlums"

OSCARS BAD-TASTE BENCHMARK

Thanking ^| "my best friend and publicist"

Spenwood

CHEESE OF THE MOMENT

Idiazdbal

Will intense scrutiny of Arkansas past bring back "Wacky Mike"?

HUCKABEE CONCERN

Will campaign stress and cruller platters bring back "Fat Mike"?

Casey

"IT" AFFLECK

Violet