Rules of Engagement

FANFAIR

Blanche Ebbutt’s Don'ts for Husbands and Dont's for Wives were first published nearly 100 years ago. Now a reissue of the pocket-size rule books, from A. & C. Black, Ltd., offers both archaic and not-so-dated tips on achieving marital bliss, from not making him jealous to not laughing when she asks to drive the car. Herewith, some advice from the excerpts...

DON’TS FOR WIVES

► Don't expect your husband to be an angel. You would get very tired of him if he were.

► Don't let him have to search the house for you. Listen for his latchkey and meet him on the threshold.

► Don't let your husband wear a violet tie with grass-green socks. If he is unhappily devoid of the color sense, he must be forcibly restrained, but—don’t be sarcastic about your husband’s taste in dress.

► Don't try too hard to regulate your husband’s pleasures, and don’t be jealous if they don’t always include you.

► Don't try to excite your husband’s jealousy by flirting with other men. You may succeed better than you want to. It is like playing with tigers and edged tools and volcanoes all in one.

► Don't bother your husband with a stream of senseless chatter if you can see that he is very fatigued.

► Don't forget to wish your husband good morning when he sets off to the office. He will feel the lack of your good-bye kiss all day.

► Don't moralize by way of winning back the love that seems to be waning. Make yourself extra charming and arrange delicious dinners which include all your husband’s favorite dishes.

DON’TS FOR HUSBANDS

► Don't be surprised, or annoyed, or disappointed, to find, after treating your wife for years as a featherbrain, that you have made her one, and that she fails to rise to the occasion when you need her help.

► Don't slouch. No one who cares for a man likes to see him acquire a slouching habit.

► Don't forget that character is more important than genius. If your wife is a true,woman, don’t worry about the rest.

► Don't scowl or look severe. Cultivate a pleasant expression even if nature hasn’t blessed you with one.

► Don't drop, when alone with your wife, the little courtesies you would offer to other women. For instance, always get up to open a door for her, as you would for a lady guest.

► Don't insist upon having the last word. If you know when to drop an argument, you are a wise man.

► Don't argue that a new hat isn’t necessary because there is nothing visibly wrong with the one she is wearing. You probably have forgotten that this is its third season, but she hasn’t.

► Don't give up cricket, or football... or whatever outdoor sport you have been accustomed to just because you are married. Athletics will keep you from becoming flabby.

► Don't selfishly refuse to go out in the evening because you have been among other people all day. Remember that your wife hasn’t, and a change is good for her.