WAS CUSTER AT WATERLOO?

ET CETERA

THE60 MINUTES/VANITY FAIRPOLL

Not to be too reductive, but men like gadgets, women seek closure, and Republicans have a more benign view of the Tea Party movement than do Democrats (51 percent vs. 11 percent on whether it’s “a much-needed revolution”). Oh, and we’d all tap Steven Spielberg to helm the biopic about us, whenever that starts lensing.

Asked which event they’re most likely to pay attention to, more women than men said “finale of big television show,” but nearly twice as many men as women said “launch of a new Apple product.” (Closure; gadgets.) More gadgets: offered all-access passes to any number of places, women went for the White House and Buckingham Palace, while men were drawn to C.I.A. headquarters and NASA’s Mission Control—i.e., to more cool stuff. (Speaking of cool stuff, more Americans, by a factor of three, would rather have access to Google’s headquarters than to Osama bin Laden’s bunker; must be the fleet of Razors in the corridors.)

Irony, to be sure, is still dead. More on that in a moment. First: with only 43 percent of Americans correctly identifying Waterloo as a reference to Napoleon, we can plausibly wonder whether knowledge is also dead. And given that, no matter what our income level, “being rich” apparently means having considerably more money than we already have, we suspect financial comfort is dead, too.

As for irony? Yes, quite dead. When Americans are asked to name the music mecca they’d most like to visit and Graceland polls only 8 percent—well behind Bourbon Street, the Grand Ole Opry, and others—then something is amiss. This is Elvis we’re talking about. Have we, as a nation, collectively forgotten about the Jungle Room?

@vf.com SEE THE COMPLETE POLL RESULTS.

NOTE: This poll was conducted at the CBS News interviewing facility among a random sample of 967 adults nationwide, interviewed by telephone between February 26 and March 1, 2010. Some low-percentage answer choices have been omitted.

THE TEA PARTY MOVEMENT ISN'T SO BAD, AMERICANS SEEM TO BELIEVEAND NEITHER IS JACK "DR. DEATH" KEVORKIAN. BUT HISTORY DOESN'T SEEM TO BE OUR STRONG SUIT

Which one of these highly publicized events ore you most likely to pay attention to?

ALL MEN WOMEN

Finale of big television show .28% . 27% .30%

Launch of a new Apple product .22 29

New book by J. K. Rowling 18 13

New James Cameron movie 11 12 9

Which music-related locale would you most like to visit?

ALL 45 245

Bourbon Street, in New Orleans .29% ,.36%..23%

Grand Ole Opry, in Nashville .27.21 ....33

Abbey Road, in London .20.22.18

Motown Studios, in Detroit .11 ....10.11

Graceland, in Memphis 8. 7. 9

If you were given the opportunity to get an all-access pass to one of the following workplaces for a week, which one would you choose?

ALL MEN WOMEN

The White House .30% .24%...35%

C.I.A. headquarters 20 ... 23 .17

NASA's Mission Control .19 ... 23 .14

Buckingham Palace .15 ... .11 .20

Google's offices . 9 ... 8 .10

Osama bin Laden's bunker . 3 ... 5 1

Do you believe that "sex addiction" is an actual medical condition?

ALL MEN WOMEN

Yes .28%. 25% ...32%

No .33 ... 37.28

Maybe, but celebs who have it are jerks .33 ... .30 .35

If you could have a famous Hollywood director make a movie of your life story, whom would you choose?

ALL MEN WOMEN

Steven Spielberg 42%. 36% 48%

Quentin Tarantino .13 ... 16 . 9

Woody Allen .11... 10 .12

Tim Burton .10 ... 12 8

Spike Lee .10 ... 16 5

Nora Ephron . 6 ... 2 9

Which of these descriptions best represents your view of the Tea Party movement?

ALL REP DEM IND

Beginning of a muchneeded revolution .29% . 51%... 1 1% ...28%

Just one of many groups speaking out .28 19 .29 32

Too extreme to be taken seriously 15 8 .24 14

Tea party? We drink coffee in this country 18 14 .25 15

Jack Kevorkian is a doctor who claims to have assisted in more than 100 patient suicides. Which of the following comes closest to your opinion of Jack Kevorkian?

ALL LIB MOD CONS

Not as bad as he's made out to be 40%... 44%. .44%.37%

Egomaniac who takes advantage of sick people .34 24 31

Humane and principled medical professional 15 .23 14 11

The military's "Don't ask, don't tell" policyprohibiting openly gay soldiers from serving in uniform—may soon be changed. Would you support or oppose having an openly gay person serve in any of the following roles?

SUPPORT OPPOSE

President 50%. 44%

Supreme Court justice 55 .... 40

Secretary of state 56 .... 39

Miss America 56 .... 35

Commissioner of baseball 61 ... 32

Super Bowl quarterback 62 .... 29

A Republican senator has predicted that a failure to enact health-care reform would be President Obama's "Waterloo"— the moment that "will break him." Which one of the following people do you think the "Waterloo" comparison refers to?

Napoleon 43%

General Custer 1 1

Alexander the Great 10

Robert E. Lee K

Hamlet 5

Don't know

What level of annual household income would you classify as "rich"?

At least $100,000 .16%. 29%. 6%.. . 3%

At least $300,000 .27 ... 23 ... 30. .31

At least $500,000 22 ... 17... 27. 34

At least $1 million .21 ... 19 ... 25. . 19

A lot more than that .11 ... 10 ... 9. .12