BAD-STYLE GUIDE

THEV.F.

Being a Guide to Words and Phrases Otherwise Banned from This Magazine

DAVID KAMP

THIS MONTH

EATING, DRINKING, AND DINING OUT

BANNED NOUNS: a . n u-t/v.n eatery, boite

BANNED VERBS: u p » J ii n scart, wash clown

D I on't be fooled into believing that the words "eatery" and "boite" convey writerly sophistication. To the contrary, they suggest a hackiness bordering on sleaziness

7Using them makes~ you sound like: (1) a lesser \~ gossip columnist; (2) a member of a Russian spy ring trying to "pass"; or (3) a copywriter who works in the captive-consumer media industry (e.g., in-flight entertainment programming, \~a~TV, :tr5cr~

"They commandeered a corner booth at the exclusive boIte~

Dreadful. The horror is compounded when companion hack-verbs are deployed:

"They commandeered a corner booth at the exclusive boIte, where they spent the night scarfing down plate after plate of Kobe sliders, which they washed down with bubbly, compliments of the house~"

More dreadful still.