WE COULD BE BRANDOS

CHRISTOPHER TENNANT

Simmering rage, sexual ambiguity, practiced eccentricity, and serious chops: it takes more than just a smoldering gaze to be the next Marlon Brando. Herewith, the contenders...

1

SEAN PENN

"That Shanghai Surprise features Penn—who many over here are calling the new Marlon Brando—can also do the him no harm."

—The Courier-Mail

PERIOD OF CONTENTION:

Mid-1980s.

BRANDO-ISH BEHAVIOR:

Chronic paparazzo abuse; patrolling New Orleans with a shotgun post-Katrina; moving to Haiti after the earthquake.

MITIGATING FACTORS:

Still loves to party; still makes great movies.

OVERALL BRANDO-NESS:

2

JOHNNY DEPP

"Marlon was passing the torch to Johnny. You could feel it in your bones. It was so obvious. [He] was giving Johnny the room to be the next Marlon Brando." —Don Juan DeMarco director Jeremy Leven PERIOD OF CONTENTION:

Early 1990s.

BRANDO-ISH BEHAVIOR:

Tropical-island ownership; Francophilia; penchant for drag and characters who slur, mumble.

MITIGATING FACTOR:

Is, by most accounts, sane.

OVERALL BRANDO-NESS:

3

LEONARDO DICAPRIO

"Leonardo DiCaprio is probably, I think, our finest actor since Marlon Brando." —Mia Farrow

PERIOD OF CONTENTION:

Mid-1990s.

BRANDO-ISH BEHAVIOR:

Eschewing pretty-boy roles; tends to stack on extra pounds between pictures; Method squinting.

MITIGATING FACTOR:

A presumably insecure Brando claimed he looked "like a girl."

OVERALL BRANDO-NESS:

4

JAMES FRANCO

I "He has Brando in him. His future is unlimited."—James Dean director Mark Rydell

PERIOD OF CONTENTION:

Early 2000s.

BRANDO-ISH BEHAVIOR:

Meta self-awareness. "There are lots of other reasons to be interested in gay characters than wanting, myself, to go out and have sex with guys," he told Entertainment Weekly. "Or, you know what? Maybe I'm just gay."

MITIGATING FACTOR:

Hosted the Oscars with Anne Hathaway.

OVERALL BRANDO-NESS:

5

RYAN GOSLING

"If you're looking for the next Sean Penn, the next De Niro, the next Brando, Ryan Gosling may be your guy."

—New York Times him critic A. O. Scott

PERIOD OF CONTENTION:

Post-2010.

BRANDO-ISH BEHAVIOR:

Speaking with a Brooklyn accent; being from Ontario. "As a kid I decided that a Canadian accent doesn't sound tough. I thought guys should sound like Marlon Brando."

MITIGATING FACTOR:

Was a Mouseketeer.

OVERALL BRANDO-NESS: