Three Americans

Exceedingly Personal Glimpses of Sinclair Lewis, Texas Guinan and Clarence Darrow

CHARLES G. SHAW

EDITOR'S NOTE:—Charles G. Shaw, the composer of these sketches, is the author of a recently issued satirical novel Heart in a Hurricane. In the trio of microscopic portraits following he has adopted a form, originally invented by the late Owen Hatteras, the biographer. By this formula Mr. Shaw has endeavored to depict the characters of the Americans under analysis, through the means of idiosyncrasy, triviality and minutest detail. The entire gallery, when completed by Mr. Shaw, will be published as a collection in book form in the early spring of 1928. It will contain a score or more studies of Americans of varying occupation and attainment.

SINCLAIR LEWIS

HE possesses enormous nervous energy which carries him—at lightning speed —to a certain point. At that point He sometimes wilts, suddenly and without a struggle.

He does not like Japanese head-waiters. His favorite American resort is Bill Brown's health farm at Garrison, N. Y. His favorite foreign resort is Miinchen.

When wishing to he really swank he affects wing collars, how ties, and doe-skin spats. Otherwise he dresses like a gentleman.

He stands over six feet in his stockings and has the complexion of a New Bedford skipper.

He is an excellent mimic and is constantly giving imitations.

He likes applause.

Walking is his favorite exercise and, every so often, He will tramp the countryside for miles around! He is apt at impromptu lyrics and enjoys motoring.

The degree of Doctor has always fascinated him greatly.

His pet cigarettes are Lucky Strikes, though he is aide to smoke almost anything.

When last in England, Philip Guedalla declared that unless he were immediately recalled to the United States there would be war between the two countries.

lit* is extremely fond of milk.

He will not tolerate rudeness on the part of inferiors.

His memory is an astonishing one; indeed, he is able to recall at an instant's notice, the most trifling details of incidents long past. He takes notes, as a rule, on the backs of envelopes.

At u:4d P. M. he is invariably drowsy; though, soon after that, he often attains the height of his eloquence and powers.

He can make excellent caricatures of himself.

From a rich Minnesota argot he is able to switch into a Whitechapel Cockney without a second's hesitation—much to the annoyance of all present. He also knows German and French.

He is highly pleased by anyone who favors his clothes and he looks best in evening raiment.

He is keenly interested in the art of boxing and will, now and then, place a wager on the outcome of a fistic encounter. He usually loses.

Possessed of great vivacity, he will, not infrequently. discourse for hours. On the lecture platform he is arresting and very effective.

He is not a good judge of character.

He admires anything well done, and is particularly keen about the mode of living of the English gentry.

His favorite piece of music is Brahms' waltz in A Major.

He is considerably impressed by titles and likes British clothes, He is proud of being a son of Old Eli, although a firm believer in the European system of education. Of his birthplace, Sauk Centre, Minnesota, he has comparatively little to say.

To work for an ideal is perhaps his chiefest aim. He will sometimes work for ten hours without stopping.

He adores parties and likes people to make a great fuss over him. Strangers, to whom he takes a shine, he will address by their Christian names a minute after making their acquaintance.

He is a complete agnostic.

Gladly would he delve into the field of business—as he might plan a book—purely as an experience.

He is full of plots. The themes for most of his stories he first tries out upon his friends.

He is quite unable to write a play, knowing little of the technique of the theatre, though a past-master in the art of dialogue.

To Germany He is most devoted and is proud of his knowledge of German. England and Italy charm him also. He admires those who are proficient in languages.

He is highly conscious of his worth and is exceedingly irritated by those who are unable to appreciate his abilities.

He is constantly making plans that never materialize.

HE claims to he heartily in favor of the Double Standard—under the present state of affairs.

Strangers interest him enormously—which has led, now and again, to certain altercations, He always wants to know the nationality of a waiter.

He prefers Europe to America, though he will defend the land of his nativity with vigor and vehemence, as soon as a foreigner attacks it.

He is a remarkably early riser.

He is the son of a physician and, at one time, acted as editor for a publishing house.

He almost never writes long-hand, doing practically all of his work upon the typewriter.

He is a great admirer of Thomas Hardy.

He carries a monocle though he rarely wears it.

He firmly believes that anyone who passionately wants to write will do so, despite every obstacle.

In general, he is against reform. Except when at work or asleep, he detests being alone.

He is particularly fond of old wines, but is not much on Holland gin.

He rarely attends the moving-pictures.

He has been married only once.

He cannot abide formal functions of any sort but is especially partial to little-neck clams on the half shell.

He has been writing since he was eight years old.

He favors suspenders rather than a belt and often will carry a walking stick.

He is a gracious host and loves introducing people to one another.

He plays no games.

He is a fellow of tremendous independence.

Some day he hopes to settle down, though just where he hasn't the vaguest notion.

He is extremely agile and of erect carriage.

He is a mass of contradictions.

TEXAS GUINAN

MARY Louise Cecilia Guinan was born in Waco, Texas, thirty-nine years ago (according to the date on the Thirty-seventh Street Police Station blotter ), and was the first to glorify the American "sucker".

She lives with her mother, her father, and her brother (Tommy), and worships them all. Her mother's name is Bessie and her father's, Michael. Her six uncles are Catholic priests.

She adores horses and will often, immediately after the closing of her "club", ride a horse for an hour in Central Park.

She has been married twice, her first husband having been Julian Johnson, a scenario editor, whom she met in Hollywood while making Wild West pictures; her second— David Townsend, a business man.

Every Sunday she goes to early mass.

Her house, located on the northern edge of Greenwich Village (where she has lived for the last fifteen years) contains thirty-two rooms in all, and is furnished with nicknacks, bric-a-brac, and bibelots gleaned from all over the world. Each of these possesses a colorful history of its own.

Her household also contains a varied assortment of parrots, dogs and cats.

She has a distinct béguin for things Chinese.

She is on the go every minute and once lost forty pounds in a single month!

Four of her "clubs" have already been padlocked. The fifth, however, is going strong.

It was she who first laid claim to coining the phrase: "Butter and egg man".

She has no personal vanity and is not in the least afraid to show her face while swathed in cold cream.

Her repartee is instantaneous.

Among her cherished possessions is a neat bronze medal, presented to her by Field Marshall Joffre, in tribute to her services while under fire at Verdun, in November, 1916

Hectic love affairs, she believes, are almost always fatal in the end. She also believes that people should not marry unless they are willing to. sacrifice everything for their partner in wedlock.

The concert of human voices surrounding her is, she thinks, the greatest symphony in the world.

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She adores crowds.

"Stool-pigeons" and "double crossers" are her pet dislikes.

Her favorite piece of music is "Traumerei".

She seldom gets enough sleep.

Her only game is poker, which she loves, and at which she is usually successful.

She considers Mary Pickford the greatest living American and Jim fully a "cruel, fierce kiss".

Her mail, which arrives by the cartload, is answered by her father and brother, Tommy, who likewise manage her finances as well. She is firmly convinced that a money-making woman should never marry a successful business man.

All her dressing gowns are of gay-colored crepe-de-Chine, and her living room suggests a cross between a Hong Kong hop-joint and a pawn shop in Deauville.

In her time she has done a little of nearly everything, including the show business, moving pictures, circus work and the selling of cattle. She has also ridden in Western rodeos and won a singing scholarship.

She has been the subject of many sermons throughout the country.

by her family she is called Texas. She was once known as the "Female Bill Hart".

She delights in ermine, dim lights, and oriental perfumes.

Every year she gives away a large sum of money.

Her father and mother are both Irish.

She declares that, after the first S100.000, money doesn't mean a thing. However, she adds, were she to lose every cent and be offered a million to retire and become a "nice old lady", she would refuse and start all over again on a borrowed four dollars.

Not until she reaches ninety, she avers, has she the slightest intention of "settling down".

She hopes her funeral will be the speediest ever held in New York, and she wants a cop, on a motor cycle, to lead it.

CLARENCE DARROW

Clarence Darrow was born on the eighteenth of April, 1857, in the town cf Kinsman, Ohio. His father was a miller and a great reader.

As a small boy he yearned to be an orator. He also took a keen interest in fishing. He always loathed the study of Latin.

He believes that the chief virtues are pity, charity, and love; just as he believes that the greatest sins are hardness, cruelty, and selfishness.

In 1902 he was elected to the Illinois Legislature.

As a child, two things irritated him exceedingly: (1) having to go. to bed so early, and (2) having to get up so early.

lie considers baseball one of the few things in life that ever came up to his hopes and expectations.

He believes, in his innermost heart, that no one really enjoys work.

He is unable to use a typewriter, though his long-hand is so illegible that he himself is at times unable to read it.

He possesses a winning smile and a charming manner.

Ordinarily he wears a black fedora, a low, turned-down collar, and a loosely tied cravat.

He considers lecturing enormous fun, and his debates are usually held to capacity audiences.

He nearly always needs a haircut.

As a relaxation he occasionally busies himself with cross-word puzzles.

He is an inveterate reader of all varieties of literature, especially biology.

He is heart and soul opposed to capital punishment. He always defends: he has never prosecuted in the forty, nine years in which he has been practicing law'. What's more, none of his clients has ever been hanged.

He uses the simplest phraseology.

His dream in life is twofold: (1) to impress upon the world the fact that the criminal himself is never wholly responsible, and (2) to abolish capital punishment. He believes that all jails should be transformed into hospitals.

He is strongly against the negro prejudice and has, on numerous occasions, spoken before large colored assemblies with great success.

He is tremendously popular and is regarded everywhere as a "good sport", When he dies he hopes that "all his friends will be in both places".

The Belmont is his favorite New York hotel.

He is devoted to his friends and loves discussions with them. Now and then he likes to sit in a poker game.

He has always been an ardent admirer of George Bernard Shaw. He is also attracted to the Russian novelists.

He considers marriage purely an individual contract and that one of the great evils of our present civilization is that it is taken too seriously. He also thinks many marry too young and that divorce should be made easier.

He is extremely impatient of details and is not in the least orderly or methodical.

For the last forty years he has been living in Chicago.

He rarely eats any luncheon.

He normally needs eight hours sleep a night but under stress is able to get along with very much less.

He is the author of "Farmington", "Crime, Its Cause and Treatment", "Perian Pearl and Other Essays", "Resist Not Evil", and "An Eye for an Eye".

He thinks it no nobler to die fighting on the battlefield than to die in any other fashion.

He weighs one hundred and eighty-five pounds and has weighed it for years.

In all his life he has never worn a pair of gloves or mittens. Neither does he afTect tan shoes. His only jewelry consists of a simple gold watch and chain.

He detests receiving long letters— the very sight of which causes him to groan—and he frequently postpones reading them for months, sometimes forever.

Though he preaches agnosticism, he practices Christianity.