The FOB Watch

SPOTLIGHT

the single most compelling event of this mean interregnum season has turned out to be the senseless torture of an innocent cat. Socks Clinton, the paparazzi ambush victim who became the official fetish of the presidential transition, has deftly parlayed his celebrity status into a book contract (First Feline was published this month by Zebra Press), and arrives at the executive mansion with a stack of glowing press clips rivaled only by those of his close contemporary, communications wondermuffin George Stephanopoulos.

The ensuing tidal wave of FOB envy for the black-and-white domestic shorthair has not been pretty to behold. Key Friends of Bill (and there are thought to be approximately 250 million of them in this country alone), most of them true Clinton believers since at least October 11, when Bozo and Ozone peaked at 51 percent in the CNN/l/SA Today/Gallup poll, are close to overheating from doing the transition tarantella.

Watch them go, copies of the new Walter Mosley volume tucked discreetly into their coat pockets, Maya Angelou and Marcus Aurelius on the night table at home, half-done crossword puzzles cluttering their lives, fueled in their pursuit of power by steaming mugs of cinnamon decaf coffee, bloated from too many sympathy McNuggets and jumbo cups of Wendy's chili. Porcelain collecting will most assuredly be the next rage. Party FOBS:Front row, Uber-FOBS Harry Thomason and Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, communications director George Stephanopoulos, First Daughter Chelsea Clinton, First Cat Socks Clinton, Bush apparatchik Robert Strauss. Second row, bimbo-eruption monitor Betsey Wright, journalist Sidney Blumenthal (on bended knee), Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Treasury Secretary Lloyd Bentsen, Labor Secretary Robert Reich, Vernon Jordan, dowager hostess Pamela Harriman. Third row, New Republic editor in chief Martin Peretz, Al Gore, Tipper Gore, press secretary Dee Dee Myers. Fourth row, New York Timesman and new Clintonian R. W. Apple, scheduling doyenne Susan Thomases, Secretary of State Warren Christopher, financial barnacle Felix Rohatyn, Barbra Streisand, Richard Gere, "Chelsea Morning" songstress Judy Collins, newly high-priced political gunslinger James Carville. Fifth row, Hillary aficionado and Newsweek writer Eleanor Clift, Bill aficionado and Newsweek writer Joe Klein, Commerce Secretary Ron Brown. Rear, the president's dinner arrives. Too busy to attend: Defense Secretary Les Aspin, Health and Human Services Secretary Donna Shalala, HUD Secretary Henry Cisneros, Education Secretary Richard Riley, U.S. Trade Representative Mickey Kantor, budget director Leon Panetta, Chief of Staff Mack McLarty, Eli Segal, Bruce Lindsey, Mark Gearan, David Wilhelm, Harold Ickes, Derek Shearer, and childhood friend Carolyn Staley.

MATTHEW TYRNAUER