The Freelantzovitz Files

The Diary of Josh Freelantzovitz of Park Slope, Brooklyn

MONDAY No two assignments guys on we the know horizon, from but our so electronic-rights what? advocacy Me, Will, group and are takvine* ing matters into our own hands, starting up our own on-line magazine about politics. We're calling it @water. The focus will be on the intersection of Washington culture and Generation X, which is important, because there's so little on the Web that speaks to us twentysomethings. Dad's being kind of a jerk about money, though. Must consider alternative sources of revenue: sell the HP Scanjet scanner?

TUESDAY My friend Caitlin said that her old film-school classmate Thrush (real name: Emanuel Greenbaum) just quit his job at Kim's Video, so maybe I could apply there. Took the F train into Manhattan, got off at Second Avenue, walked to See Hear to pick up a copy of Film Threat, then headed over to Kim's. "Dude," I said to the guy behind the counter with the lip rings, "I'm here for Thrush's job." He just looked at me all stony-faced for like 30 seconds, then said, "Shelve this"—a box that said The Naked Kiss. Just as I'm taking it towards the Adult section, dude goes, "Wrong—Sam Fuller alcove! Next!" I tried for another chance, but he just kept humming along to the Pizzicato Five tape playing on the P.A., like I wasn't there. Humiliating, but all is not lost—could be a hot first-person column for Details. (Reminder: E-mail Joe Dolce.)

WEDNESDAY When you least expect it, jackpot! Interview wants 450 words on Robert Sean Leonard. Guess they dug that spec piece I modemed them about my chlamydia experience. The catch—had to do the interview by phone this very afternoon, and write-up is due in two days. Bummer: I was hoping to get really into it, spend some time shooting hoops with him and Ethan.

THURSDAY Up early—9:30—to write up Robert Sean Leonard. Words just didn't come. Went to Ozzie's at 1 1 for coffee break, then back to my Mac. Still nothing. Reread this month's Mondo 2000. Watched Comedy Central for a while—Bill Maher and Dream On back-to-back. Excellent writing on those shows. Spent the late afternoon staring at my face in the bathroom mirror—ever notice that if you stare long enough your nose seems to disappear?

FRIDAY Great relief—Robert Sean piece came spilling out of me at about six this morning: "Laureate of Dead Poets Society ... Much ado about the planes of his face ... The taut suspension cable between Mr. and Mrs. Bridge," etc., brilliant stuff. So much so that the piece is now 3,500 words long—Interview'll be psyched! But then some bad news: no-go response to my fax asking Marty Peretz to sponsor my on-line magazine. Marty is "not interested in financing any new endeavors at this time." Decided to E-mail Marty back. Asked him if by "at this time" he meant this week, and if maybe next week would be better. Attached my trump card: a scanned-in copy of the note he sent me at Wesleyan five years ago, when he said that even though there were no internships available at The New Republic I should "keep up the good work."

SATURDAY Still hung over from last night's festivities: Eric Schaeffer double feature, My Life's in Turnaround and If Lucy Fell, followed by margaritas at El Teddy's—is there a more entertaining evening imaginable? Called my brother Joel in L.A. to see how his spec Sigmund and the Sea Monsters big-screen adaptation was going. He said that Sid and Marty Krofft had gotten a restraining order preventing him from entering their offices again, but that Johnnie Whitaker had called back and sounded interested. Cool!

SUNDA Am making this entry early because I know I'll be too excited when I come home tonight: JANEANE GAROFALO is doing a comic reading of her Amex invoices at Luna Lounge on Ludlow Street!! All that, plus Marc Maron! It's a much-needed pick-me-up: Finally got around to opening yesterday's mail, and the contract for the Interview piece is a joke! Electronic rights for 90 days after publication? I know for a fact that my friends Josh, Josh, Adam, and Josh in L.A. download my stuff all the time—I'd be losing bucks I could be spending on @wafer! Left threat of legal action on Interview editor's voice mail...