Intelligence Report: HAMPTONS SOCIETY WEDDING

VANITIES

JOB

Asia Society hospitality coordinator

Investment banker at Allen & Company

C.E.O., Fortune No. 501

Lifestyle guru

"Just don't embarrass the family."

Publicist

LINEAGE

Hamptons Blue Book since 1998

Hamptons Blue Book since 1922

If people know, they aren't talking

86 Elm Place, Nutley, N.J.

Parents live next door to the bride's father

Father bought on Lily Pond Lane in 1989

ALMA MATER

Frédéric Fekkai and Kevyn Aucoin

Smith

Frédéric Fekkai and Kevyn Aucoin

Hamilton

Budapest Technical University

His third wife, a tennis pro

Barnard

Sexually ambiguous traveling companion

Simmons

Robert Isabell

Jonathan Becker

Brown

CAME WITH...

Best man, an Allen & Company senior associate

LOCAL DINNER SPOT

Red Bar

Southampton Bathing Corp. back veranda

Nick & Toni's

Easthampton Bowl (model night)

LOCAL HANGOUT

Basilico

Shinnecock

The Palm

Stockroom of Bridgehampton Kmart

Barrister'S

Doughnut counter at Dreesen's

Sant Ambroeus

Conscience Point Inn

BEST-KEPT SECRET

Recreational-lesbian years at Smith

Writing off wedding as business entertainment

How much she was paid to attend

Annulled marriage to her father's boat keeper

Wasn't actually invited

MOMENT IN THE SPOTLIGHT

Purging her bite of wedding cake in bushes

Toasting the bride with self-composed rap

Throwing everyone out at II

Grand entrance

Firing the valetparking service

Feeling up bride's father on dance floor

CAUSE FOR STRESS

Didn't make "Vows" column in New York Times

Vera Wang

Right-temple Propecia rash

Avoiding wives Nos. 1 and 2

How to sneak out by nine

Electric shocks from headset

Grass stains

ATTIRE

Ralph Lauren Purple Label

Zegna

Giorgio Armani

Eileen Fisher

Lizzie Grubman, pre-accident

Roberto Cavalli

ROLE MODEL(S)

Princess MarieChantal of Greece

Dubya

George Soros

Edith Wharton and David Rockefeller

Martha Stewart

AFTERNOON SNACK

Botox

Necco Wafers from Bridgehampton Candy Kitchen

Half a Carvel Cookie Puss

Slice of Peruvian Chocolate Jubilee bombe left over from photo shoot

Triple chocolate dip monster cone from Snowflake

Fifteen low-fat Better Baker chocolate-chip cookies from Barefoot Contessa

PICKUP LINE

"If you mess this up, Daddy's people will kill you."

"I couldn't take my eyes off you all ceremony."

"This tent costs more than you make in a decade."

helicopter "I'm flying to my Reykjavik new helicopter to Reykjavik tomorrow."

"I've got 14 minutes until I have to cue the doves."

"I can't believe I'm still standing up."

TRYST SPOT

Parrish Art Museum Roman Sculpture Garden

Peconic Beverage warehouse

Cozy Cabins

Telling her table, "This is the most beautiful Bar Mitzvah ever."

Back of her Suburban

The Studio hair salon

"They backed down on the Rolling Stones cover band."

Stage collapsing during Boys Choir of Harlem performance

Dressing room at Tennis East

LOW MOMENT

Realizing six bridesmaids and a cater-waiter are exes of groom

Accidentally tipping father of the bride

Pocketing the tip

The next morning

FAVORITE THING ABOUT COUPLE

"We look just like Brad and Jennifer."

"Her family's not at all what you think they'd be like."

"His family's real big out here, right?"

Agreed to be photographed for 25 pages in the fall "Weddings" issue

"I did them both."

RICHARD RUSHFIELD

ADAM LEFF