INTELLIGENCE REPORT: L.A. NEIGHBORHOODS

VANITIES

BEL AIR

MALIBU

BRENTWOOD

SANTA MONICA

HOLLYWOOD HILLS

BLOCK CAPTAIN(S)

Nancy Reagan

David Geffen

Norman Lear

David E. Kelley and Michelle Pfeiffer

George Clooney

NICKNAME

Wasserman, D.C.

DreamWorkslovakia

Conversation Canyon

Yogastania

The Tobey Desert

CLUBHOUSE

The Bar at Hotel Bel-Air

Malibu Country Mart

Arianna Huffington's salon

Father's Office on Montana Avenue

Chateau Marmont

HOT CHATTER

Valenti succession

Eisner succession

Bush-bashing

Uggs, Uggs, Uggs

Panic attacks

"IT GIRL"

Edie

Barbra

Kate

Calista

Cameron

MANTEL TROPHY

Thalberg

Oscar, best pic, circa mid-90s

Humanitas

Emmy

SEXIEST MAN ALIVE plaque

PICKUP LINE

Help me up these stairs!"

"Foreign relations is really my specialty."

"I am the revolution."

"Shall we discuss it over a speltflour muffin and Yogi Tea?"

"I live 50 yards above my closest neighbor."

LEOPARD ACCESSORY

Leopard loafers

Leopard Speedo

Leopard scarf

Baby Mongolian snow leopards

Leopard unitard

CAR

Jaguar 979

Chrysler Crossfire

Prius hybrid

Porsche Cayenne

Scion mini

EAST COAST EQUIVALENT

Sutton Place

East Hampton

Westport

Columbus and Amsterdam

TriBeCa

HABERDASHER

Fred Hayman

Crush Boutique

Ron Herman

Cranky Pants (for kids)

Juicy

RESTAURANT

Private chef

John’s Garden

Toscana

Marmalade Cafe

The Standard-hotel coffee shop

CAUSE

Screener ban

Clark campaign

Dean campaign

Kabbalah

Death of the supermodel

LOST MONUMENT

Ponyland (replaced by Beverly Center)

The Sea Lion

Marjan's Deli, at Brentwood Country Mart

Sweet 16, on Montana Avenue

The Source, on Sunset Strip

YOGA

Tara Lynda Guber's yoga pavilion

Yogahead

Sports Club/LA

Yoga Works

Golden Bridge

LICENSE-PLATE FRAME

My Other Car's a Fascal

Zero to Bitch in 3.5 Seconds

Total Recall: Bring Arnold Back to the Palisades!

Hit Me—My Pilot Wasn't Picked Up

Honk If I've Had Sex with You

RICHARD RUSHFIELD

ADAM LEFF