The Coaster Correspondence

More of the very expensive words of Edwin John Coaster, contributing editor

A message of tolerance and awad of warning to Mr. raydon Carter We are a group of junior staff members at Vanity Fair who take extreme umbrage at the magazine's planned publication of Edwin Coaster's autobiographical article entitled "Domestic Disturbance at Commerce Street, 1/16/59, 2:58 A.M." We find this article's graphic, fetishistic depiction of Mr. Coaster's attempted murder of his second wife to be an offensive work of pornography rather than a literary exercise. We call ourselves We, the Undersigned. We, the Undersigned, believe that Mr. Coaster's piece is sufficiently misogynistic-not only toward his former wife, but toward "all the little Wesleyanites I've dreamed of seducing and garroting" (manuscript, pp. 22-23)-as to possibly constitute hate speech not protected by the First Amendment. We, the Undersigned, believe it is repellent that Vanity Fair is allowing Mr. Coaster to profit from a crime to which he pled insanity back then, but admits to now. We also find Mr. Coaster personally repellent, and, at various VF functions, have had to endure his bourbon breath, interminable reminiscences of the `55 Dodgers, and flagrant "boob glances." We, the Undersigned, choose to remain anonymous because we fear reprisal, knowing full well the vicious history of those who dare to challenge the Vanity Fair hegemony. We know, Graydon, that contributing editor Sam Tanenhaus accepted his new post as editor of The New York limes Book Review under duress, after cheerfully making the comment "Personally, I love Mayor Bloomberg's antismoking crackdown!" at Vanity Fair New Year's party. For the next six nights, Tanenhaus was awakened by threatening phone calls, always placed from a West 12th Street pay phone, in which the caller, in a Canadian accent, said, "It's a-boot time for Tanenhaus to die-eec!" We, the Undersigned, have retained attorney Ron Kuby, who will take appropriate action against you and Vanity Fair in the event that you choose to publish Ed Coaster's criminal piece of hate trash. WISE UP AND CHOOSE RESPECT. GRAYDON!

EDWIN COASTER

Graydon: Oh, please, we're not going to be scared off by a bunch of pimply twerps, are we? My daughter lanie used to run around with this crowd in her college days, rallying on Harvard Square to "Divest from South Africa!" And where did it get them? Whoopde-doo, P. W. Botha had one less back shaver in his retinue! Well done, kids! Graydon, you yourself said this was "next-level shit," the best piece of writing I've turned in to your magazine. Let's stick it to these craven, nameless twerps and their ponytailed, hygienically challenged lawyer!

KUBY & PEREZ LLP ATTORNEYS AT LAW RONALD L. KUBY April 28, 2004 Dear Mr. Carter: Pursuant to N.Y. Exec. Law Section 632-a(l)(a) & (b) & (d) & (2)(a)(i), better known as the "Son of Sam" law, I write to inform you that any payment made to Mr. Coaster by you in exchange for his literary account of stabbing his wife constitutes "profits from a crime" and requires you to report such payments to the Crime Victims Board to permit the victim of this crime to file suit against Mr. Coaster. Your knowing disregard of this provision subjects you to civil penalties. (Yeah, I know he was acquitted of the crime, but the statutory language refers to any "person charged with" a crime, and, in the days of Bush and Ashcroft, acquittals are just "legal technicalities.") Further, to the extent that Coaster's writing contains false statements of fact about Ms. Lozano Coaster Margolick, she may well have an action against him (and you) for defamation. And I don't think your reliance on Coaster's statements (given his prior sworn testimony that he was too drunk and stoned to recall what happened) constitutes due diligence on your part. But, hey, that's why your lawyers make the big bucks. B.T.W-You want to see some "next-level shit"? (Yeah, I have copies of the memos.) Check out the latest Jury Verdict Reporter under "liability for intentionally false statements." Sincerely,