Vanities

AMPED UP

March 2016 Scott Jacobson, Mike Sacks, Ted Travelstead
Vanities
AMPED UP
March 2016 Scott Jacobson, Mike Sacks, Ted Travelstead

AMPED UP

Ten pickup lines for the South by Southwest Music Festival, Austin, Texas, March 15-20, 2016

SCOTT JACOBSON

MIKE SACKS

TED TRAVELSTEAD

They say vinyl's more popular than ever. Hence this underwear."

"Rock was already dead when I was here back in '87. Wanna go for a spin in my Asian-fusion taco truck?"

I saw you checking out my Celine Dion T-shirt. I take it you're a fan of irony also?"

"Look! Yet another asshole who looks like John Hodgman! Wait. That is John Hodgman."

People tell me I look like Neil Young. But without the talent."

"No, that's not an all-access pass; it's my Whole Foods lanyard. But I do get a 10 percent employee discount on pumpkin water."

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy who knows the dude who taught Clive Davis to Skype. Follow me."

Come to the overdose tent often?"

No way! You write sea chanteys, play tenor guitar, and live in Portland, too?"

"Come over to the Motel 6 on 1-35 and check out my mustache-wax collection!"