TH' AVENUE

A poetic panorama

George S. Chappell

With a rare wood engraving by William Hogarth, Jr.

WOULD you like to view The Avenue?

It's the oddest of books,

An Edition de Luxe,

Illustrated, animated,

Hand—and face—illuminated.

With a tang! With a bang! With a clang! Zangll!

Crashing of busses,

Mashing of Gussies,

Table de hóters,

In borrowed Ford motors,

Smart à la carters

In flossy self-starters;

Cops, imperial of gesture,

Wops, bacterial of vesture.

And the Ladies!

Every shade is

Represented: Heaven and Hades!

Saintly, family, goodness-who-knows,

Cuties, beauties, ox-eyed Junos,

Widows, Kiddos, fox-eyed, Jew-nose,

Blonde-ones, fond-ones, wide-eyed fat ones;

Creepy, sleepy, side-eyed flat ones;

Fassive, massive, hilly turkish ones Wriggling, giggling, billy-burkish ones.

And the clothes!

Lord knows

Where the money comes from,

But HERE'S where it goes!

Low-cut, V-cut, high-cut, store-cut,

No-cut, wrong-cut, my-cut, your-cut:

Costumes haughty, costumes sporty,

Costumes sort'er naughty-naughty,

Loose, full wrappings, weeds bituminous,

Useful trappings, tweeds voluminous;

Hats of pelt, of style exclusive,

Spats of felt, so smile-producive,

Muffs and ruffs and cuffs of lynx,

Shoals of stoles of moles and minks.

Rings and things . . . Oh, ton after ton of 'em— But please don't think I'm making fun of 'em, Perish the thought! Why, YOU may be one of 'em!