What the well-dressed mind will think

A reference table. Manhattan-made but adaptable to lies Moines through the process of osmosis, for alert adults. If most of these observations seem obvious to you. then you are a sophisticate and have nothing to gain from reading this article.

1. Southern California is a fantastic, utterly absurd place.

2. The movies arc a fantastic, utterly absurd industry.

3. Mother love is a much overrated emotion.

4. The following people are intrinsically funny: Ella Boole, Roxy, Arthur Brisbane, Aimée McPherson. Huey Long, Mayor O'Brien, Dolly Gann, Rudy Vallée, Mrs. Jerome Napoleon Bonaparte. William Lyon Phelps, Dorothy Dix, Sid Grauman, Alice Foote MacDougall.

5. Congress is always wrong.

6. New York first-night audiences are composed of gangsters, kept ladies, ex-wardrobe mistresses, and Hope Hampton.

7. The French know how to live, and the Swedes, and the Swiss, and almost everybody but the Americans.

8. The only book in the world which is beyond criticism is Alice in Wonderland.

9. The best food in America is obtainable at speakeasies.

10. There will never be another revue as clever as the first Chariot's, another magazine as scintillating as the old Smart Set. another play as exciting as Broadway.

11. Air travel is dull.

12. No person of taste subscribes to a book club.

13. Happily married couples living in Passy are to he envied; happily married couples living in Scarsdale or Winnetka are to be scorned.

14. Triple-noted automobile horns are vulgar.

15. The most sublime of all arts is the art of cooking.

16. Greenwich Village, Provincetown, and Taos are inhabited solely by fake artists and real estate mCn.

17. The phrase "rugged individualist" is to be uttered with a fine scorn.

18. San Francisco is the only American city to be mentioned aside from New York in so far as cosmopolitanism is concerned.

19. The crowds who cheer celebrities in lower Broadway ticker-tape festivals are there solely because it is the lunch hour.

20. For comfort, there's no chair like the old-fashioned rocker.

21. College degrees have no value now that their one claim to practicality—social prestige—has disappeared.

22. Aesthetic dancing is always slightly ridiculous.

23. There should be more murders in order that there may be more good murder stories in the newspapers.

24. Given a choice between being stranded on a desert island with a lady genius or Jean Harlow, the intelligent man will select Miss Harlow: given a choice between being thus stranded with a gentleman genius or Gary Cooper, the intelligent woman will pick Mr. Cooper.

25. One is happiest when asleep.