The third jar

JOSEPH CREAMER

■ I suppose I shouldn't tell you this. Mom wouldn't like it. But it doesn't matter much now. Mom's dead and I don't think Alec will read this and even if he does, he won't care.

I had just come home from school and I didn't feel so good. You know how it is when it's your first time away from home and you find out that your brother's shot a policeman and been sent to the penitentiary and all the guys at school begin to walk out of your way when they see you coming down the road. Well, it was like that with me. I didn't feel so good on account of Alec. Mom didn't either. Sometimes she'd sit in the corner, near where Pop used to hang his coat when he'd come home in the evenings, and bawl. Just shake all over and sometimes 1 felt like telling her to stop it. But I didn't. If it was someone else it would have been different.

I'd got a job in Perry's Drug Store for the summer vacation and Mom was awful proud and she used to smile when she'd see me behind the counter in a white coat. But that was before Alec shot the policeman. Now it was different.

Well, as I was saying, Mom got the call from Alec at three on a Saturday morning. I didn't hear the phone ring. I didn't know anything until she woke me up and told me that Alec had escaped from the penitentiary and was hiding in Slocum's barn.

I think I said, "The hell with him," when Mom woke me, because she said something about it later. I didn't mean to say that. I never swore when Mom was around. I think Mom would have gone herself without calling me if it hadn't been for her bad log. So I got up and doused my head in a pan of water and slipped into an old sweater. The rain was beginning to fall hard so I thought it would be best to bring along a raincoat too.

Mom had three tenderloin sandwiches and a big thermos bottle full of hot coffee ready when I came downstairs and she was slabbing at her eyes with her apron trying to stop the tears.

I said: "Gosh, Mom, you don't have to cry so. Alec's all right, isn't he?"

But she didn't answer me. She just kept stabbing at her eyes with the apron and twisting it between her fingers. When the sandwiches were all wrapped up in paper, I stuffed the thermos bottle in my pocket.

Then she said: "Jerry, you're a good boy."

"It's okay, Mom," I said.

There were a few things I wanted to say about Alec to her, but I let them go. I didn't want to make her feel any worse than she did.

"Take the back road," Mom said, "and don't let anyone see you. If anyone asks where you're going, just say to the village."

"Sure, I know, Mom,' I said. "I can even say I'm making a late delivery of medicine for Mr. Perry."

"Jerry, you're a good boy," she said.

The rain was falling real hard now and the ground was soggy. But I walked fast and it didn't take me long to reach the barn.

■ Slocum's barn is way out on the edge of the prairie and nobody goes there much. They still call it Slocum's barn, but Old Man Slocum died long ago. He didn't die in a nice way either. Something about rats and a corn crib. Well, I walked around the barn looking for a light, but there wasn't any. I said to myself maybe Alec went down the road to see if I was coming, or maybe he's just afraid to have a light. So I walked up to the side of the barn and began throwing pebbles at the one big door.

I was just going to go around to the other side when the door slid back and I saw a face. Alec's voice hadn't changed, but what I saw of his face had.

"Keep in the shadows, kid," he whispered. "I'll open the door."

I stepped into the darker spaces that hung about the windows on bottom and pretty soon the door slid back and I walked in.

It was pitch dark and I couldn't see a thing. Then I felt Alec's hand groping for mine and I caught it and he led me up a ladder into the loft. Then I knew why I hadn't seen a light.

Alee had all the cracks stuffed with hay and old cloths and the door was covered with a horse blanket. There was a big plumber's candle on the three-legged table in the middle of the floor of the loft and Alec must have been laying down when I came because his coat was stretched out by the door where the horse blanket was.

I took the thermos with coffee from my pocket and then the sandwiches. Alee grabbed them and before he even spoke to me again he began eating.

While he was eating I watched him. His face wasn't round any longer. It was long and very thin. There was a long scar from his right temple to his chin and when he smiled at me over the sandwich I thought he was snarling. His hands, too, had changed. He used to manicure them awfully careful. Now the nails were broken and all around the ridges they were black.

It was funny how I didn't feel sorry for him. I didn't even think of him as my brother. I was even afraid of him for a while, and he scared me when he kept turning his head and listening awful hard as if he was waiting for someone to come.

® At last he laid down the thermos bottle and rubbed his mouth with his sleeve.

"You look good, kid," he said. Then he went on, not even waiting for me to answer. "Mom's voice sounded good, too, over the phone."

"Mom doesn't feel so good," I said.

"Hell, you say!"

"Mom hasn't felt good ever since this happened, Alec."

"Hell, I couldn't help it if the goddamn policeman made me shoot him, could I ?

I didn't say anything. I wrapped my arms about my knees and felt terribly sleepy. I must have dozed because Alec's voice made me jump. Then his face was close to mine and there was the same smell from him that you smell when you meet a man who works around horses a lot.

"Listen, kid," he whispered. "Mom told me you got a good job, eh?"

I nodded.

"Listen, kid, I gotta get out of this town. He was talking faster now and his hand was shaking where it lay on my arm. "I gotta get out of here quick and I gotta have money to get out."

"How did you get in?" I asked.

"Hell, kid, that's a long story. But I rode the freights."

"Can't you ride them out again.'' " I said.

"Ride the freights out of this town?" he said, lifting his eyebrows and looking at me with a crooked smile on his face. "Fat chance, with every dick from here to San Anton bending down to see if I'm comfortable on the rods."

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Then he leaned against me harder and 1 could get the smell of horses stronger.

"I need cash, kid. Enough to get me a hunk on the Benny Harper when she pulls out for Orleans."

"I haven't got any money, Alec," I said.

"You've got a good job, haven't you?"

"What difference does that make when I give every cent to Mom?"

"Gosh, kid, you're dumb. You don't get what I mean."

I didn't say anything because there was nothing to say. I didn't get what he was driving at.

"Jerry?"

"Yeah."

"Old Man Perry's the sap you work for, ain't he, kid?"

"Yeah."

Alec sat for a while without saying anything. He was watching me, out of his gray eyes, and l knew that he was thinking of something else to say.

"If you want me to rob Old Man Perry, Alec," I said, "that's out."

"Wait a minute, kid. I don't mean that at all. I just want you to help me. You wouldn't turn your brother down, would you? Listen, even Mom would do this for me, Jerry. You'd do anything Mom would want you to do, wouldn't you?"

I didn't say anything, so he kept right on.

"Jerry, all I want you to do is . . . You know the long row of medicine jars along the wall near the window in Perry's store?"

I nodded.

"Well, kid, when Old Man Perry begins taking the money out of his till tomorrow night and is counting it behind the prescription counter, all 1 want you to do is take down the third jar from the shelf and then I'll know that everything's all right, see?"

"Alec, I can't do that," I said.

"Kid, it doesn't mean that you're going to have anything to do with the stealing, see? I'll do that. And, anyway, the old geezer's able to lose a few dollars. lie won't miss 'em."

"Alec," I said, "I don't want to do that and I don't think Mom would want me to do it either. If you think you can't get out of town, why don t you give yourself up?"

"Chris' sake, kid, don't say that!" 1 didn't like to look at Alec's face then. It was all twisted and he jumped back from me as if I was going to bite him or something.

I'm like Mom. Folks used to say, "Jerry's just like you, Mrs. Withers, but Alec . . . Alec's just like his father." I wanted to help him. but the more I thought about it. the harder it was to know just what to do. I said to myself that maybe Mom would want me to, and then maybe she wouldn't. If I did it, Mom might think that I was turning into the kind of son Alec was. I was in a sweet spot, all right. But, just the same, I knew that Mom wanted Alec to be free. If she didn't, she wouldn't have sent me out here with sandwiches and coffee at three in the morning. And anyway, Alec was my brother. So I said:

"Alec, I'm going to ask Mom and if Mom thinks it's all right, I'll do it."

"Geez, kid, you're square. Give me your hand."

I shook Alec's hand. I mean he shook mine, and he pushed me toward the hole in the floor and pretty soon I was out in the rain again and there was no light in the barn. It was just the same as when I had come.

All the way hack the road I kept saying to myself: I'm going to tell Mom. I'm going to tell Mom that Alec wants me to help him rob Old Man Perry. I'm going to tell Mom and if she says it's all right, I'm going to do it. And all the time, I knew 1 wasn't going to tell Mom. I knew I was just going to sneak up to bed and sleep and maybe in the morning I'd know what to say.

So when I came home I didn't say anything. I didn't have to, because Mom was asleep. When I came down in the morning she was sitting by the table darning, but when she saw me she began asking about Alec and I knew she must have been crying even so early because her eyes were all red. So I told her everything was all right and that Alec would he leaving town for Orleans soon. . . .

You see. it wasn't like as if Alec was a stranger. He was my brother and that makes a difference. That's what made it so awful hard to think right.

Twice that morning Old Man Perry bawled me out for skipping spots on the counter when I went over it with the crude oil rag. I told him I wasn't feeling well. So he said, "Why don't you take a dose of sarsparilla and oil?" But 1 said it was just the smell of the crude oil and, anyway, 1 didn't have enough sleep. So he said, "Why don't you go out in the yard for a while?"

I went out in the yard and walked up and down thinking hard about what I should do. Finally, I said to myself, if 1 don't come in soon Old Man Perry will think I'm stalling. So I walked in and began washing graduates in the hack room. And all the time I was thinking of what I could do about Alec.

When lunchtime came I had my mind fairly well made up. What did it matter if Alec did get some of the old geezer's money, I thought. He wouldn't miss it. I kept saying that to myself all the time I was running down the road at lunchtime to Slocum's barn to tell Alec that I'd take down the jar when everything was all right. After I told Alec it would be Okay, 1 ran back to Old Man Perry's without any lunch. I just got there on time. If 1 had been late he would have probably given me another bawling out and it was my first job and the money meant a lot to Mom.

1 thought night would never come. It was bright up until nine o'clock and there were lots of people on the street. But about ten-thirty there were only a few and it was pitch dark.

I took Old Man Perry's dog out for a trot in the yard about a quarter of eleven. I said to myself. I'll take down the jar when I come in.

I could see Old Man Perry getting the money out of the till from where I stood in the yard, so I knew that every minute counted. If he got it in the safe before 1 could let Alec know, it might spoil Alec'a chances. So I shooed the dog in quick. But, as I began to walk toward the jars, Old Man Perry said:

"Better fill the capsule can right away, Jerry."

Well, there was nothing else I coidd do. You see, the capsules were in the cellar, on account of the hot weather, and I couldn't pretend I was looking for anything by going out in front to where the row of jars were.

So all I could do was to hurry, fast as I could, to the cellar and spill half the things around the floor trying to fill the can in time to beat Old Man Perry to the safe. I knew Alec was somewhere across the street in the dark watching that jar. I knew he wasn't there long because it wouldn't have been safe for him to hang around. So 1 said ,to myself, there isn't any time to lose.

But as 1 picked the capsule can up from the floor and turned toward the stairs, I heard the door slam. Someone walked around upstairs. I heard voices and tried to make out who it was, hut the voices sounded far away.

I was hurrying up the stairs with the capsule can when I heard Old Man Perry holler and the door slam again. Then the voices were mixed. One of them was Alec's and my heart began thumping so hard that I thought 1 couldn't breathe.

Then I stepped into the hack room and saw Old Man Perry first, dabbing at his jaw with a piece of cotton that was getting red. There was a big cut running down from below his ear and he was rocking hack and forth, hack and forth as if he was crying.

Alec was sitting, handcuffed, in a chair and there was a smile on his face. But it wasn't one of those smiles that you see on the faces of folks who . . . Well, it just wasn't a smile. You see, it was sort of hard like and it didn't seem as if he was smiling at all. But he was.

"Hello, kid," he said, when he saw me. "They're fast on their feet in this goddam town."

But 1 wasn't looking at Alec. I was looking at the jar on the table, the third jar in the row, the jar he had asked me to take down. It was labeled Ammonia. And then I looked and saw Officer Dunning, the big policeman who always patrolled Main Street. He was standing by Alec, holding him with one hand and sticking cotton in the jar and swabbing his forehead with the other. "Good thing I had a headache and came in here to get some ammonia and a little water," he said, and turned to Old Man Perry. "And how do you feel, Doc?"

"Not bad," Old Man Perry said.

I looked at Alec then. "Alec," I said —and then he interrupted me.

"Headache?" he said. "I'll bet h° had a headache." And then he began to laugh at me.

"But Alec—"

He stood up and turned to Officer Dunning. "Let's go," he said and, as they started out of the store, Alec, with his wrists in the handcuffs, looked hack at me.

"Squealer!" he said.