GEORGE WAYNE Q & A

VANITIES

Rivers of youth

Queen of E! Queen of QVC. Queen of jokes about the Queen. For nearly 40 years, Joan Rivers has been the trailblazer for several generations of comediennes. She climbed to the top on the backs of Liz Taylor and Nancy Reagan; then came two big blows: a feud with Johnny Carson (she left The Tonight Show; he felt betrayed), and the suicide of her manager-husband, Edgar Rosenberg. Now back and more taut than ever, she spars with our correspondent.

George Wayne:So, darling, are you still mourning Edgar? It literally became one of your famous onewoman shows, your mourning of Edgar.... So G.W. had to wonder: are you still mourning E?

Joan Rivers: No, I’m not mourning Edgar; that’s gone now. There is a sweetness that remains. But I am still angry at Edgar. I will never forgive him for what he did.

G.W.That must have been devastating.

J.R. Devastating. I had a 16-year-old daughter at the time, who got the call that her father had committed suicide, and she had to come and tell me. It was a very rough time for our family.

But some good jokes have come out of it. I like to say that Edgar committed suicide because we were making love and I took the bag off of my head. I solve everything with humor—he went from the bed to the window.

G.W.True or false—Joan Rivers is the only person on this planet who has had more plastic surgery than Michael Jackson.

J.R. Absolutely such a lie. I am so tired of this. I came out because I was so there with a roomful of women "What is it like?," and they are V the parts in their hair. I came everybody, "Don't believe the saying to you, `I am natur 65, and I've done nothin

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G.W.Who is the phoniest person in Hollywood?

J.R. Russell Crowe—phooey. First of all, I hope he doesn’t stop to talk to me on the red carpet of an award show, because I don’t think he’s learned to bathe yet. The man needs a good bar of Joan Rivers Fragrant 100% French Milled Soap. G.W.Who is your favorite authoress of all time?

J.R. Edith Wharton, hands down, because she got it. Because she holds up. You go back and read The Custom of the Country, and it’s timeless.

G.W.Joan, darling, G.W. sometimes feels that he suffers from tripolar disorder instead of bipolar disorder. You are the ageless icon of American princesses, so how does Joan Rivers temper her violent mood swings?

J.R. And I have them. I scream. I will go into a closet and scream and come out, and it’s all out of you. I really do. Also, I say what I think, and then it’s gone. I cannot hold a grudge.

G.W.What are the other guidelines that you try to live by?

J.R. Don’t look back, don’t dwell on the past. So your father slept with you. That was 40 years ago—tough. Get on with it. And, also, don’t worry about anybody else—wear blinders. Never forget that, on a bad day, count your blessings, because they could always be worse. If you think you’ve hit the bottom, there is always the gutter. G.W.Who is the peer that you idolworship the most? The one that riles the most envy in Joan Rivers?

J.R. Robin Williams and Chris Rock— those are the ones where I just go, “Damn, why didn’t I think of that?!”

G.W. Do you think that you will ever get ned again?

Never, absolutely not-but for 10 maybe.

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J.R. Thank God.