GEORGE WAYNE Q&A

Bob Saget goes very blue

Once the patriarch on TV's Full House and the corny host of America's Funniest Home Videos, Bob Saget—now fully cleansed of his G-rated costume and equipped with a dirty mouth that would humble George Carlin—is having a comeback, thanks to a cameo on HBO's Entourage and a segment in the controversial hit The Aristocrats. Our correspondent wants to see if Saget can work as blue in the form of a Q&A.

George Wayne: You're 49, but you could pass for 10 years younger. Repeat after me: Hallelujah!

Bob Saget: I know, I am very, very lucky, whatever the heck it is I've been doing. I have three daughters, an exwife, and a dog with prostate cancer, and all of that keeps me young.

G.W. Suddenly, you're hot again, and you didn't have to do a reality show.

B.S. You know, God bless America. I'm so happy I didn't have to do a reality show. The only reality show I watch is Pimp My Ride.

At times I wanted to do a reality show, but now I can't go back to family television unless the family was like The Aristocrats.

G.W. Talk a bit about the peaks and valleys of life as an entertainer.

B.S. When your phone doesn't ring—in my case, all nine phone lines—it can be very quiet.

G.W. It's interesting, you and Rosie O'Donnell left mainstream television, it seems, to become raunchaholics. You were a big star on a tepid TV sitcom; she, of course, had that ass-kissing talk show. But it seems that both of you sought to restore your street cred, as it were, with triple-X banter.

B.S. I didn't do it to prove anything. I am really made this way. I have always found sick shit funny. I mean, I did a film called Half Baked a few years ago, where I said, "I suck dick for coke."

G.W. Do you?!

B.S. No, I do not.

G.W. Yeah, right.

B.S. I swear.

G.W. So what's the real story—Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza were probably sharing a huge spiff at five one morning a few years ago and came up with this ingenious idea of rounding up the icons of comedy to let it all hang out for 87 minutes of thorough filth. How did you go about flexing your creative muscles for this project?

B.S. The thing is, I wake up like that. I met Paul when I was 19 as a student at Temple University. And we became friends.

Penn I met at Comic Relief for HBO, and we hit it off because he's a sick, funny bastard. I filmed my scene upstairs at the Laugh Factory.

G.W. Where you ended up stealing the show. Would it be fair to call this "the Caligula of comedic excess"?

B.S. That is exactly what it is: comedians going way too far. There are some family-type comedians not in the film—some were gun-shy.

G.W. Where did you make your stand-up debut? Does the joint still exist today?

B.S. You know what? You ask very good questions. I was 17 and I had been doing a home movie called "Beach Blanket Blintzes," a piece of crap, and I got up before showing it to talk for 15 minutes, and that was the first time I had ever got up before a group of people. The moment of consequence for me was when I was 18, and I got on the train from Philadelphia and I went to the Improv in New York, where I waited like 10 hours to go on that night. That was the first big trip to New York, and I will always remember it.

G.W. I loved the fact that they dragged Phyllis Diller away from her oxygen tank long enough to be part of this historic film.

B.S. It's only natural that, the world being what it is now, when things go so far to the right, stuff like this will become popular. But I still won't let my two younger daughters or my mother see this film.

G.W. What was it like working on Entourage? That hirsute Adrian Grenier really gets my balls churning.

B.S. They called to find out if I would do an episode, and I liked the show, so I said yes. I wanted it to be ballsy and cocky, so the next thing I know I'm smoking a bong and hanging out with hookers.

G.W. You are the father of three nubile young women. What do you say to the current queen of nubility, Paris Hilton? Do you think she'll just end up hosting Naughty Amateur Home Videos?

B.S. When you look at Paris, she is a very sexual girl. These tapes came out that, in the past, would ruin a career, but boosted her ratings. She is very good at being unscathed.

G.W. Are you dating anyone?

B.S. When you are with your kids all the time, it's not easy to change gears and then, eight at night, go out and be a ho. I can't disappoint my kids, so my time with them is very precious.

G.W. Thank you, Mr. Saget—may the G-force be with you.

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