WELLNESS: IN HIGH STYLE

VANITIES

Want to do drugs but not so many drugs that you're speaking in tongues during your 10 a.m. Zoom? Try microdosing—a more mindful experience designed to effect less perceptible changes in mood and behavior. (Changes so minor that studies of clinical trials have not shown microdosing of psychedelics to work any better than a placebo.) Some barely imbibed substances are supposed to boost spirits; others help users fit into their hipster-era skinny jeans. Curious—or confused? We're not saying you should take any of these (our lawyers want us to make that very clear), but if you do, here's our guide to the mostly illicit scene

Marisa Meltzer

THE DRUG

PSILOCYBIN

LSD

OZEMPIC AND SOME OF ITS FELLOW GLP-1S

KETAMINE

AYAHUASCA

IBOGAINE

MACRO

Uplifting trips that inspire awe at the natural world, or at least giggling about the general concept of moss

The classic baby boomer acid trip: smelling sounds, hearing scents, truly understanding the nuances of Led Zeppelin

Lack of appetite leading to weight loss of 15 to 17 percent after 68 weeks

The infamous dissociative K-hole; actual relief for stubborn depression and anxiety

When ingested in a traditional ceremonial drink with a shaman, users see serpents, jaguars, and occasionally, God.

Visuals of one's brain being rewired; it's been controversially used in clinics in places like Mexico and Costa Rica to treat substance abuse.

MICRO

Emotional clarity; the ability to take greater joy in children's sporting events

A clearer, brighter, and more clever self

Reduced "food noise"

A stabilizing effect that makes your spouse's irritating habits much more tolerable

A greater sense of love and empathy; more positive mood ("Maybe I could be the shaman.")

A stimulant effect that some kooks say is better than caffeine; visions

WHO'S DOING IT?

Overextended elder millennial moms

Tech bros who aspire to be creative directors

People who don't have real weight to lose but don't want to feel left out

Boho uppermiddle-class couples for whom tarot is not insightful enough

People who have graduated from Burning Man but haven't entirely grown up

Your weirdest friend's weirdest friend

WHERE DO THEY LIVE?

Northeast LA neighborhoods like Eagle Rock or Atwater Village

Austin, Seattle, Toronto, Alameda County

Tribeca, Beachwood Canyon, Miami Beach

Duplexes in Bed-Stuy or houses in LA's Venice they describe as a cottage

Boulder, Asheville, MadisonX

Off the grid outside of Taos

WHAT ARE THEY WEARING?

The Row via The RealReal; aspiring to Chanel's haute couture SS26 mushroom-inspired looks

Lemaire, or more likely, Lemairedesigned Uniqlo U

Aflalo's highwaisted no-stretch jeans; Alaia dresses with cutouts; their own prominent collarbones

Husbands suits for him; vintage slip dresses with Fendi eel boots for her

Ancient Patagonia fleeces they're too nice to say they bought before it was cool

A hospital gown if they take too much—this stuff has been implicated in heart attacks and deaths.