Table Talk

Andrew Lack, producer of CBS's West 57th, can't bear to watch his own TV tabloid: "I'm never happy with the work when I'm finished with it.... You're going to give yourself an ulcer if you watch, so I'd rather not. "

City lights: Though Jay Mclnemey says he gave up N.Y.C. limelife for the charms of small-town living, the big city's bright lights still wink at him: his new apartment is a stone's throw from Club A.

Ladies as unlike as Fran Lebowitz and Marisa Berenson showed up at the Pierre to lunch Joan Collins's new line of millinery: '4 Hats cover a multitude of sins," said LaBitch, "particularly my hair."

Bowling for scholars: Novelist Russell Banks, poet Mark Strand, and bookworm James Atlas got some sartorial advice from the lane supervisor at the Third Annual Writers Community Bowling Tournament: "Remember, bowling shirts are to be worn outside your pants. ' '

The Scarlet Letter: Architects Jordan Gruzen, Bob Stem, and Charles G wathmey all wore red paper A ' s around their necks at one of the fund-raising parties for East Hampton's Guild Hall. At Carl Bernstein's benefit dinner, $ 100 bought drinks and a pot of pate, and a bowl of fish chowder next door at John Scanlon's.

Pink-haired fashion designer Zandra Rhodes has been hired to customize a batch of Renault 5 cars for a British dealer. The hot-pink Rhodesters are accessorized with matching pink overalls and pink tools (forchanging pink flats).

Why was a ton and a half of sand dumped in Columbus Circle? For Carl Reiner to beach-party with Miss Universe. Later, the scraped-up sand refilled the Gulf + Western building's 252 standing ashtrays.